Previously on Adam Riff™:

Like Bruce Banner, Jennifer Connelly's hair keeps changing throughout the movie. Also, in almost every scene, she's crying, and she always cries exactly one teardrop.

—should i post this?
—i got some lolz
—fatty with a hulk hand
—that's classic laughs

In case you missed the party over at Rotten Tomatoes…

Let's see: Philosphy, English Lit, what else you got for degrees? I guess you failed to master them sufficiently to teach anywhere so now you put on the same kind of pseudointeleectual show that made Diane Chambers on "Cheers" so obnoxious

He's just mad at the fact he's a black gay guy.

I once visited a card shop with a co-worker and noticed an odd-looking boy in the back playing Magic: The Gathering. I later learned that he was a black albino.

More amazing triple whammy: Black conservative homosexual or black albino nerd?

Ang Lee sucks the big one!…well except for face off, that movie is pretty awesome

Too easy.

Dear Anton,

Walk down your hallway, open the door to your bedroom, and smile as Ang Lee lays prone in your bed…lazily sleeping. Enjoy

i hope this guy gets stabbed and shot then hanged and then gagged….and then some 1 takes a dump on his lifeless rotting corpse

Hanged and THEN gagged.

maybe you should take your grandma to see on golden pond and you can hold her hand through the whole movie.

heres a tip -don't quite your day job !
Do what you do best and thats spot checking and tongue cleaning Glory Holes!

YOUR critique might have been vaguely entertaining if you were holding your mouth over said glory hole (as you usually do)!!

"I might've liked your review if you had a cock in your mouth!"

Not to be outnoxioused, Peter Bradshaw wrote a 500-word review of The Incredible Hulk entirely in Hulk-speak.

The movie opens today and I'm already sick of hearing "Hulk smash." At the moment, I'll even accept quoting Napoleon Dynamite over more fucking "Hulk smash."

Fatty with a hulk hand,
Hugo