Note to self: don't mix Red Bull and No-Doz. Not only will you not fall asleep, but worse, you'll feel really really good.

I got this e-mail from my old English teacher today: "Did the LAHS Dive group share with you how they plan to use your article from the Oracle? Their presentation is this Thursday in our band room at 10:30. Want to come as my guest?" I know, I know. I need to grow up.

What the fuck is this?

Finals suck. It really pisses me off when I see people younger than me on MTV Cribs showing me how they live like a rock star while I sit here in my room reading and writing papers, knowing right and well that I could easily be a member of S Club 7.

Tomorrow is Thursday, and you know what that means? College basketball. I'm hedging my bets on the Pac-10 – Stanford over Cincinnati, UCLA over Duke, USC…well…fuck USC. Go lose to those hicks from Kentucky.

Get your recipe for disaster here.

This is so pathetic, it doesn't deserve to be an icon of American culture.

Who does number two work for? Me.

This way to marshmallow fun.

Click here to find out what Rory (Hornblower) wants for his birthday.