—Egging or toilet-papering? How old are we?
—What do you propose then?
—Giant bows. Cover his house in giant bows, like the ones you see in holiday car ads.

—Jewelry ads should just show men training women with diamond treats.
—Chocolate diamond treats.

—Google image search "cat muzzle."
—Haha.
—This one's my favourite:

—You ever wonder if cat ladies' cats are ashamed of their owners?

—Idea: An all-feline adaptation of Jane Eyre, with a cat lady as Bertha Mason.

—Why would anyone open a furniture store? All I ever see are furniture stores "going out of business." They are the art history degrees of retail.
—So IKEA is Michael Baxandall?

• The Quaid Conspiracy
• Charting Ray's walk in Hung's opening credits (52.6 miles!)