I've been to New York City twice in my life, both times for less than 24 hours.

The first time I visited, my host (distant cousin) insisted on taking me to see a Broadway musical. We waited endlessly in line at TKTS in Times Square before reluctantly accepting tickets to Cabaret at Studio 54…starring Brooke Shields.

We left during intermission.

I've refused to see any musicals since that traumatic night.

The second time I visited, my host (high school classmate then at NYU) proposed we see a movie instead. We couldn't agree on what movie to see, however. I wanted to see American Wedding. She wanted to see Gigli. I flipped a coin.

We saw Gigli.

[sigh]

I need cooler friends in New York City.

Anyway, I might be willing to return from self-imposed exile soon.

Tenacious D's Kyle Gass will star in a Broadway musical in the works based on the power ballads of the '80s. Songs from Bon Jovi, Journey, REO Speedwagon and more will be included in the production, titled "Rock of Ages" and currently being shopped to theaters in New York and Las Vegas.

"Do-on't stop…be-LIE-eevin'!"

Sweetness.