28. Daymond John (The Eric Andre Show, S06E10)

Honourable Mention

• Rico Nasty (The Eric Andre Show, S06E09)
• Sailor Moon transformation (My Adventures with Superman, S01E02)

Stray Observations

• "Are you sure I can't suggest something a little bit more fun?"
  "No, it's 1:00 in the afternoon. Water is very fun." (The Idol, S01E05)
• "Chaim, I mean, she's talented, but so was the fuckin' banjo boy in Deliverance." (The Idol, S01E05)
• "Scarface Miyagi over here found them?" (The Idol, S01E05)
• </The Idol, S01>
• "Hiya. I'll be today's leader for this ice cream and wiener party." (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• "I hate to think I'm responsible for your A-hole burning, brother." (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• "Whoa. Is that your caca?"
  "He's my childhood pet, Rags."
  "Is Rags an explosive diarrhea that you named?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• "Ew, somebody sent me a dick pic. I better text this guy back, let him know he's got the wrong recipient."
  "No, BJ! Just block it."
  "Yeah, but some lucky gal's missin' out on that glorious cock shot." (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• "Mmm, this brie is the fucking tits." (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• "I was just doing what I thought you're supposed to do when you're a rock star. I thought, 'Hey, man, people want to fall in love with me, suck my dick? So be it.' It turns out I'm not Daniel Lee Rothson." (The Righteous Gemstones, S03E04)
• </The Eric Andre Show, S06>
• "He needs to pay for this. Jewelry?"
  "Yeah? Is dry humping worth jewelry?"
  "Sounds like purse-level." (Platonic, S01E09)
• "Can you not see that we are virtually creating a meal with a pair of disembodied Caucasian hands?" (Platonic, S01E09)
• "I would not like my partner out there dry humping motherfuckers."
  "It kinda feels worse."
  "'Cause it's weirder."
  "It is. And it would make sense from Charlie, because he's, like, this handsome guy, and he's super nice. No one's like that."
  "It's true. He seems like the deprivation of wetness would kinda get him off." (Platonic, S01E09)
• Frank drinking fountain water out of a paper food boat (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E06)
• "And it's also good for the girls because then they know what they're supposed to look like."
  "It's aspirational." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E06)
• "But you're telling me I can't say a duck is retarded?"
  "Yes."
  "No? What do you mean? Suppose he walked up here, and his feet were on backwards and his beak was on the inside of his head, what, then I could call him retarded?"
  "Well, no. Then you're dealing with a mutant duck, and that's not funny." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E06)
• "These are not the boobs I saw, dude, these are not them."
  "This is so disturbing. They-they took her tits off. They literally sanded 'em off!"
  "They mutilated this poor woman."
  "That is disgusting. Goddamn libs."
  "Oh, my God."
  "Unbelievable."
  "And this could be the religious conservatives, too. You know, y-you don't know."
  "That's true."
  "Which kind of—"
  "Lopping tits off feels like a, feels like a religious move." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E06)