Stay Fucking Hard

// Las Vegas, NV

[browsing restaurant menus]

Steak tartare quesadilla?

Is it filled with raw meat, like fried ice cream?

No, it's raw meat on a bed of cheese.

I book a table to try this steak tartare quesadilla.

Server: Uh… Have you ever had our steak tartare?
Jon: Years ago, and not on a quesadilla.
Server: Okay…

Our server begins walking away and then U-turns.

Server: I'm sorry. I can't let you order the steak tartare quesadilla. It's disgusting. It'll make you sick. We're taking it off the menu.

It pains me to heed her advice.

Ty: We can make it at home.
Jon: Home-made steak tartare?
Ty: Order steak tartare to go from somewhere. Spread it on a quesadilla. Bone apple tea. It's not like that fancy carpaccio I tried. Probably cheaper than $32 too.


That fancy carpaccio.

Ty: Steak tartare quesadilla challenge.

Jon: Steak tartare Crunchwrap Supreme?
Jon: No, steak tartare Mexican Pizza! Raw beef on a bed of ground beef.

Ty: Panera Charged Ceviche.

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