Translating Southern United States English

BARD – verb.
Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
USAGE: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH – noun.
A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
USAGE: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS – noun.
A calendar division.
USAGE: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and I ain't herd from him in munts."

IGNERT – adjective.
Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
USAGE: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH – noun.
A tool.
USAGE: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL – noun.
A petroleum-based lubricant.
USAGE: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR – noun.
A conflagration.
USAGE: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS – noun.
A supervisor.
USAGE: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you."

TAR – noun.
A rubber wheel.
USAGE: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE – noun.
A tall monument.
USAGE: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT – noun.
A blood-pumping organ.

HOD – adjective.
Not easy.
USAGE: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD – verb.
To stop working.
USAGE: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED – adjective.
USAGE: "I just flew in from Hotlanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS – noun.
Entitled power or privilege.
USAGE: "We Southerners are willing to fight for our rats."

LOT – adjective.
USAGE: "I dream of Jeannie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN – adjective.
Not local.
USAGE: "I cudn't unnerstand a wurd he sed…must be from some farn country."

DID – adjective.
Not alive.
USAGE: "He's did, Jim."

EAR – noun.
A colorless, odorless gas.
USAGE: "He can't breathe…give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR – noun.
A sharp, twisted cable.
USAGE: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE – question.
USAGE: "Ju-here that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE – contraction: pronoun and verb.
USAGE: "Is Bubba smart?"
            "Nah…haze ignert."

SEED – verb, past tense.

VIEW – contraction: verb and pronoun.
USAGE: "I ain't never seed New York City…view?"

HEAVY DEW – phrase.
A request for action.
USAGE: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT – noun.
An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
USAGE: "Great…another gummit shutdown!"

written by C.J. Anderson and Bryan Keefer and originally published in the Mountain View High School Oracle as "Sucks To Your Ass Mar"

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