Chernobyl Man

My parents got me a credit card. Bad move. Mommy and Daddy should've known better. You see, Jonathan Yu blows money quicker than a whore fellating Eddie Money. It's like giving a mouse a cookie, except the cookie is a Visa with a high credit limit and the mouse is a capitalist sympathizer who gets off on buying on impulse. I have the credit card locked in my desk right now for fear that when and if I do use it, my lack of materialist restraint could be taken…to the extreme! Case in point: last May, I walked into Tower Records to buy Weezer's new album and walked out with five albums and an empty wallet. Now, imagine what would've happened if I had a credit card on hand that day and shudder. I also bought a ticket to the KROQ Inland Invasion (re: Weezer) show in Riverside next week without thinking and realizing that I have no means of transportation to the Inland Empire. That's $45 for naught, $36 if you deduct the stupid fuckin' Ticketmaster "convenience" charges. Oh well. Sucks to be me, with or without a credit card.

My eyes are burning. I guess that means I should get some sleep.

If your life depended on fucking a baked good, which of the following baked goods would you fuck?
(out of 27 votes)

girls and homosexual guys:
baguette • 1 vote • 4%
bear claw • 1 vote • 4%
cannoli • 2 votes • 7%
churro • 5 votes • 19%
twinkie • 8 votes • 30%

heterosexual guys:
bagel • 3 votes • 11%
cupcake • 3 votes • 11%
flan • 1 vote • 4%
fruitcake • 3 votes • 11%
bob dylan • 0 votes • 0%

It's really sad when the majority of your website's tiny visitor population would fuck a twinkie.

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