Let's go to the airport! Whoo!
For the entertainment of my audience, I'm gonna run the gauntlet of post-apocalyptic air travel and hopefully, live to tell about it.
Death can eat my ass. In my life, I've choked on a hamburger, stabbed myself in the neck with an envelope opener, and second-degree burned my dick with chicken soup. Death ain't got nothin' on me. And if any of these Falwellian idiots wants to hijack my plane, they will feel the wrath of Jonathan Yu. I may not have metal dining knives to use, but I'll have plastic sporks! Go ahead. Crash my flight. Just understand though that if I have to die, I WILL go out a bloody fuckin' mess. Mark my words.
Look who's in the news again. Jerry Falwell said Thursday on Pat Robertson's religious TV program The 700 Club that he blames the attacks on pagans, abortionists, feminists, homosexuals, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way. Yes, Jerry, America was attacked because some women don't shave their pits and some guys like cock in their ass. Shut the fuck up and go back to hell.