Hello, my name is Jonathan, and I suffer from attention defi

I woke up at noon today. Noon. I hate when I sleep past 10 o'clock in the morning. Sleep is good and all, but time is money. Then again, having too much time on your hands is not always a good thing.

Case in point: I had planned to write a paper today. It's due on Friday, but I wanted to get a head start. So much for that. Why write a paper when you can do laundry, watch a football game, sign up for a Ralphs supermarket club card, and go see Iron Monkey again?

It's amazing what you can do if you really put your heart into procrastination. While livin' it up today, I noticed that my computer wasn't as quiet as my roommate's. It doth buzzed mucho. So being the tech expert that I am, I tried to shut up my computer by banging on it. Instead, the noise worsened, and my computer suddenly became a screeching vibrator. Time for Plan B, also known as "opening up the fucking case," according to Howard. With the entrails of my computer effectively exposed, I found a fan behind the horrible HP acoustics, removed it, and started banging on it. This time, however, the banging worked, and noise levels subsequently decreased to a tolerable drone. Whoo! I was ready now to reassemble my computer. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out just quite how to. Banging didn't work, and Seth was offline. After a frustrating hour of trial and error, I finally managed to stick the fan into something resembling its original position. As for the case panel I unscrewed, all I have to say is "God bless duct tape."

You know that scene in the movie Office Space where the disgruntled ex-cubicle-inhabitants collectively destroy a fax machine? Well, that's kinda how I felt today. Does anybody know how to put a computer back together? Help…

Jon: How do you motivate yourself to write a paper in college?
Howard: Think about grad school.

Brilliant.