Asian Orange

I read that all-American Stickboy wants to attend USC. That's cool. I mean, USC is a good school…for me to poop on, but hey, it's his prerogative to blow thousands of dollars seeking higher education in the ghetto.

Didn't you learn anything from the Godfather trilogy, Michael? In the end, nice guys never win. Go play around in Photoshop and try to make yourself look moderately attractive. You gotta compensate for that lack of brainpower somehow.

Speaking of being an embarrassment to men, look what I dug up:

the saga continues (sadly)…

Agent Stickboy: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
VirtualPriest: What sins do you have to confess, my son?
Agent Stickboy: Well, father, I…uh…I…
VirtualPriest: You can say it. God will forgive.
Agent Stickboy: I dunno… It's pretty bad, father. I…uh…
VirtualPriest: Remorse is the first step to absolution, son.
Agent Stickboy: But this is really, really bad.
VirtualPriest: I've heard worse, my son – I assure you. I…used to work near the day care center.
Agent Stickboy: But this is just about the absolute worst thing you're ever gonna hear.
VirtualPriest: Well then, all the better you confess it.
Agent Stickboy: Well, it's…it's that I…I love Jesus, father.
VirtualPriest: …You love Jesus?
Agent Stickboy: Yeah.
VirtualPriest: Well, that's no sin, my son. In fact
Agent Stickboy: No, no, father. You don't understand. I…love…Jesus.
VirtualPriest: You…love…Jesus.
Agent Stickboy: Yeah. Well, did you ever take a good look at him?
VirtualPriest: Well…
Agent Stickboy: I mean, he is one good lookin' man.
VirtualPriest: …
Agent Stickboy: I mean, if you ever get a look at one of those full-bodied renderings, like on stained-glassed windows, check out the ass on that guy! Va-va-va-voom! I mean, that is one heck of a nice tush. Jesus is a full serving of what I like! He could sure turn my water into wine! I'd like to jump his resurrected bones! Wouldn't mind takin' a peek under that robe of his!
VirtualPriest: Gah!
Agent Stickboy: Peek-a-boo! Who's in there? Holy hunk! Hehe. I'd think I died and gone to hunk heaven! He can be my salvation, I'll tell you! SAVE ME, JESUS, SAVE ME!!! Use your big strong arms and save me! Then, I'll get on my knees and pray!
VirtualPriest: STOP! STOP! PLEASE…PLEASE STOP! You're right. I don't know if I can forgive you. You're sick.
Agent Stickboy: Oh, it gets worse, father.
VirtualPriest: NO. Don't tell me…
VirtualPriest: My son!
Agent Stickboy: I wanna fondle his crown of thorns and then pork him in the stigmata!
VirtualPriest: My son! MY SON!!! My son, the Catholic Church does not condone such behavior.

Does Jesus love Stickboy in return?!?
Will VirtualPriest hit on Stickboy now that the closet is open?!?
Is it really possible for this miniseries to lose more steam than a Chinese laundromat?!?

Y e s.

Hooray for plagiarism…Seth.

Finally, I want to send a message to ElBorishOne: Hockey, shitty hard rock, and camwhores with "titties." Well, aren't you a regular ladies man? Maybe you could loan some of that magical charm to your buddy Scudco. God knows his right hand needs a vacation. Get up! Come on, get down with the sickness! Ugh.

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