from this milkless tit you sucked the very business we call show

"not a post, not yet an update"

Super Crossroads.

After eight years apart, three childhood friends rediscover their friendship on a cross-country trip.

Indispensable. Classic. The movie has it all: Mike D's wife as its director, Britney, Britney singing her songs, Britney almost naked, Britney singing her songs almost naked, Britney sucking face, Britney sucking face to one of her songs almost naked, a cameo by former MTV VJ Jesse Camp… What more can you ask for? A Beastie Boys song to end the movie. Well, not technically. But Nikka Costa's "So Have I For You" samples "Car Thief," only the bestest Beastie song ever.

Jon: Hornblower, what are you doing?
Rory: Posting.
Jon: But you didn't even see the movie!
Rory: I saw the MTV special…
Jon: Oh for the love of Christina! Get offa your laptop!

[sigh] Sorry about that, folks. We here at adamriff.com actually give Crossroads a 7. Total cheese, but enjoyable cheese. I don't think I've had this much fun in a movie theater since I saw the full-length Attack of the Clones preview last November. You'll laugh (intentionally and unintentionally). You'll cry (at the fact that unlike the guy on screen, you don't get to pop Britney's cherry). A good time will be had by all.

One more thing. I don't particularly appreciate the movie's representation of male UCLA students. We don't all rape and inadvertently impregnate the best friend of our fiancee in a drunken stupor and then abandon them both for another girl.

Get Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

The story of an "internationally ignored" rock singer and her search for stardom and love. Born a boy Hansel whose life's dream is to find his other half, Hedwig reluctantly submits to a sex change operation in order to marry an American G.I. and get over the Berlin Wall to freedom. The operation is botched, leaving her with the aforementioned "angry inch". Through a collage of songs, flashbacks and animation, Hedwig tells her life story while on a tour of chain strip mall seafood restaurants, trying to capitalize on her celebrity as the supposed ex-lover of famed rock star Tommy Gnosis.

A very good very witty post-punk neo-glam rock musical odyssey NOT for people uncomfortable with homosexuality.

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