A while back, I said that I wanted a Taco Bell in my future house. If Tommy Lee can contact the Starbucks company and get permission to set up a Starbucks in his house, replete with official Starbucks equipment and supplies, then I can have a Taco Bell in my house.

Tuesday night, my father and I went out and ate $100 worth of sushi, and at the restaurant, I decided on another thing I want in my house: an incubator. I want a giant incubator. Why? So I can…incubate, and I don't mean eggs or premature babies. I'm-a incubate myself.

An incubator is an apparatus with a chamber used to provide controlled environmental conditions. Sounds like a sauna to me…A SAUNA YOU CAN FREEZE PEOPLE IN! I'd use mine, however, just to relax (I'm no killer!), maybe with a Zesty Chicken Bowl in hand (okay, poultry doesn't count).

jason cohen and michael krugman on rollingstone.com
"We've seen a lot of no-talents become comedy superstars in our time, from Chris Farley to David Sedaris to Jimmy Fallon, but damned if we've ever been forced to deal with someone as infinitely non-talented as Jack Black. We hate his irritating persona, his stupid metal song parodies (Ronnie James Diothere's a target!), and the fact that he's really just another corporate celebrity whore whose comedy features nary a whiff of danger or drama. Hell, the other fat fuck in Tenacious D is funnier. And he sucks…"

aim patrol!
Joe, it's W-E-I-rd, not W-I-E-rd, unless you mean to talk about W-I-E-ner, in which case the I before E is appropriate.

Bob, it's P-I-E-ce of bastage, not P-E-I-ce of bastage, and tomorrow only has one M in it, unless you actually have to "work Tom Morrow" (a client? use protection).

Adam, it's RIdiculous, not REdiculous. Ridiculous means "arousing or deserving ridicule"; rediculous means "to diculous again."

Ty, who are you kidding? You're white, you love Costco, and you rollerblade. Give it up.

Jon, it's altAR boys, not altER boys, although considering the history of the Catholic church, it might as well be spelled with an E.

To whom it may concern, XVinXDieselXcanXshitXaXbetterXscreenXnameX. Why not add numbers to the end while you're at it?

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