WARNING: The following piece contains gross generalizations, inside jokes, and region-specific references. Enjoy at your own discretion.
"[Meg of the White Stripes] once worked as a bartender at a blues bar in the trendy northern Detroit suburb of Royal Oak."
Chuck Klosterman in the October 2002 issue of Spin
Trendy suburb, eh?
Royal Oak: Hey, I can't help it if I'm trendy.
Jon: Oh? And what makes you so trendy? What makes you trendier than, say, Proletariat Oak?
Royal Oak: Charm, a rapier wit, and dashing good looks.
Royal Oak: What? You don't believe me? Why don't you come out here and see for yourself…bitch?
Jon: Fine. I think I will. I happen to know some of your little trendy suburbanites.
Royal Oak: Heh. Bring it on, Chinaman!
In Michigan, I was the guy from California. Everywhere I went, I was introduced and/or recognized as "Jon from California." It's times like these that I wish I had grown up in New York. That way, I could visit Michigan over Labor Day weekend and have someone tell me, "Jon from New York, it's Saturday night!"
What would a trendy suburb be without a trendy teenage hangout? The National Coney Island restaurant chain bills itself as the home of Michigan's finest hot dog, and, in the case of its Royal Oak branch, Abercrombots.
+ Trendy Albanian bully eats a dick
+ "National" (as the local kids call it) mascot Mr. Pop prepares to re-enact the famous scene from American Pie
to be continued