mi 2 (1 of 2)

I just got back from Michigan and have a lot to talk about. I wrote some notes down on my hand. Let's see here…

If you had one shot
One opportunity

Sorry. Wrong hand.

Stoopid Robot: so if this post involves Eminem, i'm not reading your site anymore
Horny Rornblower: well
Horny Rornblower: um…
Horny Rornblower: goodbye?
Stoopid Robot: god damn
Stoopid Robot: i knew it

I saw 8 Mile opening night at a theatre on 8 Mile. Actually, I saw it at the only theatre on 8 Mile — the Detroit part of 8 Mile, mind you. I had previously never been frisked upon entering a movie theatre. Moreover, the Wankers and I notwithstanding, everybody there was black. I had fun though.

After the movie, we dragged our asses back across 8 Mile to "evil middle class white people land" and ate pancakes.

Rory and I came up with some potential 8 Mile sequels:

8 Legged Mile
Eminem's gigantic ego terrorizes the mass media.

8 MMile
Nicolas Cage obtains footage of an Eminem video that doesn't involve brooding darkness or him acting out lyrics.

8 Mile with Conan O'Brien
Hey, NBC remade Carrie

The 405
The traffic on the San Diego Freeway symbolizes the psychological dividing line that separates Eminem from where he wants to be.

8 Mile in a Duffel Bag
The story of Kim Mathers.

Tony Hawk's Pro Sk8 Moile:
A movie the whole 12-24 demographic can enjoy!

Statutory 8 Mile
Eminem loves his daughter.

1984 Mile
In a brutally stifled society of blackspeak and two minutes hate, Marshall is made to "love the Free World."

I saw the following on a sign in the Tower Records in Birmingham: "free bag with every purchase."

I also saw a bunch of dry cleaners in Michigan that named themselves after how much they charge ($2.99 Dry Cleaners, $2.29 Dry Cleaners). Is it really a good idea to include a price in the official name of your business? What if you owned $1.99 Dry Cleaners and I opened up $1.98 Dry Cleaners right across the street? You're pretty much fucked then, aren't you? You can't just lower the price, because according to the phone book and business cards and the lighted marquee outside your store, you charge $1.99 for dry cleaning! Of course, you could spend a couple thousand renaming your place something like $1.97 Dry Cleaners, but I could just as easily rename my place $1.96 Dry Cleaners and fuck with you all over again.

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