file under: aim, all-nighters

Colin: I once applied for a job working with the Crime desk with the Oregonian.
Colin: I got an interview even. And I think I fucked it up when I gave some criticism re: an ongoing story the dept. had covered.
Colin: there was this headline I thought was completely inappropriate.
Colin: "Shotgun blast shatters teenage girl's face, puts ambitions on hold"

Marissa: is it utterly terrible to send my ex boyfriend a baby jesus butt plug for what would have been our year long anniversary?
Rory: a butt plug?
Rory: like
Rory: "butt" butt?
Marissa: yes
Rory: uh
Rory: no
Rory: if he likes that sort of thing
Rory: you're still friends right?
Marissa: yeah
Marissa: see
Marissa: he studies the sociology of religion
Marissa: and his dad's a minister
Rory: so you want him to
Rory: stick it up his ass
Rory: i get it
Rory: ok
Rory: i thought maybe you two were just overly kinky
Marissa: errr
Marissa: no
Marissa: i have no desire to penetrate lars' butt
Marissa: i just think it's funny
Rory: oh ok
Rory: symbolism
Rory: right
Rory: because when you asked me i was like
Rory: i know marissa's…but…
Marissa: errr
Marissa: i wouldn't want to take my boyfriend up the butt
Rory: haha ok
Rory: heh
Marissa: i'm not sure if it's too sacreligious
Marissa: these are hardcore
Rory: flashlight vaginas?
Marissa: hehehehe
Marissa: better than a vacuum
Marissa: well
Marissa: it's the butt plug or a black vinyl dildo
Rory: ok
Marissa: i'm not sure which is stranger
Rory: the jesus butt plug
Marissa: i can't find it on ebay
Rory: i thought you said you could get it
Marissa: i can
Marissa: just not discounted on ebay
Marissa: which i find heartening
Marissa: anwyay
Marissa: thirty bucks
Marissa: for sacriliege
Marissa: i'll sleep on it
Marissa: night
Marissa signed off at 5:37:35 AM.

Zach: it was good
Zach: really really good
Zach: honestly
Rory: what was good?
Rory: the sex?
Zach: yes
Zach: no
Zach: 25th hour
Zach: really
Zach: really really
Rory: i still have no desire to watch it
Rory: i hate spike lee movies
Rory: and i was indifferent to the pianist
Rory: we obviously have different tastes in movies
Zach: i guess so
Zach: dude
Zach: why dont you like spike lee
Zach: there are like 3 black people in it
Zach: no need to hate this one
Zach: racist
Zach: fag
Zach: adrien brody
Rory: he was okay
Rory: not the strongest lead character
Zach: you're a fuckin retard
Zach: what do you know about molvies
Zach: i hate you
Zach: you dont know shit
Rory: dude
Rory: am i supposed to like every jew film that's made?
Rory: you liked the pianist
Rory: i have my own favorite movie of the year
Zach: you liked the nazi one
Zach: you are antisemetic
Zach: i know this
Zach: so what is your fav. movie
Rory: of the year?
Zach: YES
Zach: fuckin retard
Zach: what is it
Zach: signs?
Zach: tel me
Zach: tel
Rory: …the nazi one
Rory: it has nothing to do with you!
Rory: the believer was just a really good movie
Rory: the characters were compelling
Rory: the dialogue was well written
Rory: it was well shot
Zach: what? all the jews in their homes?
Zach: you sick fuck
Zach: cough
Zach: fag
Zach: cough
Zach: chink\
Zach: ===|""======>~~~~~
Zach: i frogt the ballsz
Zach: ballz
Zach: 8=====|""=====>~~~~~
Zach: okay what did you think was good about the pianist
Zach: and why the fuck would you not think that ripping up torahs is
Zach: when we burn ur rice fields,,,, do you not cry?
Zach: azn pride till i die mofo
Zach: i do what i want
Zach: whatevea
Zach: i have 30 percent azn pride biotch
Rory: what was good about the pianist?
Zach: yes about the pianist
Zach: your azn
Zach: azns like pinaos
Rory: i liked
Rory: when the nazis threw the old man in the wheelchair off the balcony
Rory: i thought that was cool
Zach: fag
Zach: fuck you to hell
Rory: and i liked how they drove over the dead bodies lying in the street
Zach: i liked how in apocolypse now…all those fucking vietnemes starved to fucking death and got mowed down by helicopters
Zach: you dont know shit about movies
Zach: what the rfuck do yu base things on
Zach: did you take some fuckingt movies for dumbass azn ignoramouses over night
Zach: unless youve taken film studies
Zach: you dont know shit
Zach: youre jkust biased and try to make it seem like you know a lot
Zach: you fucking idiot
Zach: stop being ignorant
Zach: and fucking try to know something
Zach: u fucking jap chink gook mother fucker
Zach: \illl steal ur calculator so you cant finish ur math homework
Rory: i'm talking to a fucking water polo player
Rory: your arguments
Rory: wouldn't hold up in court
Zach: wow i think they would
Zach: because if i b5rought up
Zach: that you have no fuckiing experience at all at how a movie is good
Zach: and its all based on YOUR opinions
Zach: than how would you defend that in a court
Zach: would you just make a computer with chopsticks out of no where and yell MR SPARKLE as loudly as you could
Zach: and say here some flied lice for you mista judge
Zach: u would lose and go to jail
Zach: for being a fucking idiot
Rory: no
Zach: they should lock up people like you who try to make their biased opinioins act as facts when they are fucking bullshit
Zach: thats ur only argument so far
Zach: your just attacking me
Zach: and saying no
Rory: no…
Zach: i mean john
Zach: ur a cool guy
Zach: but you just dont know shit about movies
Zach: i could fucking have sex with the hottest woman in the worls (ur mom) before youi would ever know what a good movie was
Rory: this from a guy who wanted
Rory: and paid
Rory: to see bad company
Zach: hey i fcant help it if i like to see low quality movies to LAUGH AT THEIR PATHETIC QUALITY you fuckikng retard
Zach: im not prancing aroundf in my kamoto
Zach: saying it deserves an oscar
Zach: fuckikng
Zach: why dont you go play the cello like yo yo ma
Rory: why don't you be my manager?
Rory: take care of my money
Rory: c'mon
Rory: do it for mommy!
Zach: sooo had any good rice lately
Zach: orrr bombed any harbors
Zach: or how about that tiennenman square
Zach: hey happy chinese new year
Zach: you get ur dollar in the red envelope
Zach: EAT MY AZN COCK!!!!!
Zach: hahah oh yea u dont watch south park so you dont know what chinpokomon is
Zach: can yoiu dig it
Zach: suckah
Zach: do you smell what the rock is cooking
Zach: eh
Zach: ?
Zach: what you gonna do brother…when hulkamania comes running wild on you
Zach: BROTHER!!!!
Zach: ????
Zach: herro
Rory: oh never mind
Zach: how do you rike your lice?
Zach: flied?
Zach: or
Zach: law
Zach: ?
Zach: hey youre like every product made in the world
Zach: ur made in taiwan
Zach: azn pride
Zach: haha
Zach: ap
Zach: ap
Zach: apapapapap
Zach: ap
Zach: ap
Zach: okay i need to go to bed seroiusly
Zach: ill ttyl jonny boy
Zach: fag