Previously on Adam Riff™:

20th Century Fox decided to add Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray and Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer to the "LXG" [ugh] in its film adaptation in order to generate more appeal in the poorly-educated American market.

Here we see Shane West as "Detective" Tom Sawyer and what appears to be the barrel of a rifle.

I can't believe this. This is a travesty to literature. First Fox adds an American to a team of Brits and then they give him the only fucking gun in England!

"Basically, I'm the American," explains Shane West, who plays Tom Sawyer, now a grown-up Secret Service agent. "They added me into the script because there were no Americans in the comic book."

Furthermore, West says the sequel will center on his character. "Tom's a young kid compared to the rest of the crew, but I end up kind of being the leader."

Words cannot express my outrage.