Saturday night, I'm attending a screening of Kill Bill: Vol. 1 with Quentin Tarantino in person.

The Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood screens a lot of movies with cast and crew members in person. Last Tuesday, I saw Big Fish there with Tim Burton in person. In January, Clint Eastwood will be there in person for a screening of Mystic River and Kim Novak will be there for a screening of Vertigo.

The only problem with these screenings is that people in Los Angeles ask the stupidest questions.

Someone will always inevitably ask
—What advice would you give to an aspiring filmmaker/actor/actress like me?
to which the guest(s) will reply with some motivational bullshit like
—Never give up. You can do anything you set your mind to.


Last year, I attended a screening of Catch Me If You Can at the Egyptian with Christopher Walken in person and someone asked him
—Will you dance for us?
to which he replied


I predict that some retard at the Kill Bill screening will ask Tarantino
—In Pulp Fiction, what's inside the briefcase?

No one asked him what was inside the briefcase, but someone said to him
—This is the best movie I've seen in twenty years. I shed tears when [unintelligible]. Will you read my script?


As we were walking out of the theatre, some giddy Asian guy proclaimed to his friends —GOD talked to me!

I hate fanboys.

EXITkill bill: vol. 1