Excerpts from the early spring 2004 SkyMall catalogue:

Where do I begin?

How can the software company equate Bush's address after September 11 with the Constitution of the United States?

—It is my hope that in the months and years ahead, life will return almost to normal. We'll go back to our lives and routines, and that is good.

One of America's greatest speeches, ladies and gentlemen.

Whose initials could those be?