One time for my posse, two times for my holmes

The 2005 Adam Riff™ World Tour kicks off this weekend in the home of WrestleMania 22 — Chicago, IL.

Rory and I will be in town from Thursday to Saturday, during which time we're gonna hold a little film festival that will include screenings of: Timur Bekmambetov's stylish Russian sci-fi/fantasy blockbuster Night Watch (2004), Stephen Chow's comedic genre-blender Kung Fu Hustle (2004), Mathieu Kassovitz's hard-to-find French indie Hate (1995), and Three… Extremes (2004), an anthology of horror shorts by cult Asian directors Chan-Wook Park, Takashi Miike and Fruit Chan.

Feel free to join us.

Then on Sunday, we're off to Ann Arbor, MI to see MC Chris live. He refuses to tour the western half of America, so we had to take matters into our own hands.

My name is Jon, but my boss likes to call me "J."

I used to work with a guy named Kevin, and my boss would call him "K."

We were J and K, just like the Men in Black.

As if "J" isn't gay enough, sometimes my boss will call me "J.J." or "J-Bird." I don't say anything though because he's my boss.

Kevin's replacement is a guy named Tony, and my boss likes to call him (what else?) "T."

The other day, Tony starting calling me "J" too.

"Hey J, does this computer have Soundtrack on it?"

"Scan this for me, J."


I haven't been so annoyed by a nickname since J-Ram christened me "Baby 'Gina."

There is an Oklahoma State basketball player named Ivan McFarlin and he's black. Someone please explain how this happened.

Ruth's Chris Steak House. Explain this name too.