Little House of Savages

All right. The statute of limitations expired and I'm free to discuss what happened.

Last time, I incorporated The Amazing Race. This time, I'm using 24.

Shall we begin?

Right now, video game enthusiasts are plotting to film and network at E3, opening day for Revenge of the Sith is approaching, and people that I know may be involved in both. I'm Federal Asian Jon Yu, and this is the longest week of my life.

How be it?
it's hot
it's very hot
i feel like a prisoner here
waiting for jord to arrive

I have a nickname for you
I can't wait to tell you.

of course
It would be cowardly of me to introduce it online.

i see…
okay then

The following takes place between Sunday May 15 and Monday May 16.

10:20 am
[phone rings]
Jon: [sigh] Hello?
Did I wake you?
Jon: Who is this?
Jon: No.
It's Chad.
Jon: What's up?
Chad: We'll be over there soon.
Jon: Awesome!

11:40 am
Jon: [pokes Jord with a stick] Jord.
Jon: Jord, wake up! We have to pick up Forest.
Jord: [sigh] Let me take a shower first.

11:42 am
Jon Wilcox: Do you have any aspirin?
Jon: Nah. Sorry.
Wilcox: That's all right. I'll stop by a drugstore while you two are at the airport.
Jon: You okay?
Wilcox: Yeah. I just have a minor headache. I get them every time I visit Los Angeles.
Jon: Weird.
Jord: Joe, if Chad or Tushar call, let them in.
Joe: [grunts]

11:50 am
Jon: Turn right up here.
Jord: Shit… Look who it is.
[car pulls over, Jord exits car]
Tushar: Long time no see, buddy.
Chad: [peeking through driver's side window] Hey, Yu.
Jord: I hate to cut this short, but I have to pick up my friend at LAX. We'll be back shortly.

1:30 pm
Jord: Yo yo. What's goin' on?
Wilcox: Tushar set up a wireless router.
Jon: Sweet.
Chad: Jon Yu! Want to hear my nickname for "yu"?
Jon: Sure.
Chad: Okay. It's kind of offensive, but…
Jon: Just say it.
Chad: [clears throat] Jyu! [pronounced "jew"]
Jon: That's it?
Chad: Yeah. It's your first initial plus…
Jon: Yeah yeah. I get it.
Chad: Well?
Jon: Get the fuck outta my place.

5:00 pm
Tushar: Is there anything to do tonight?
Jon: Uh…The Walkmen are playing.
Forest: The Walkmen? Where?
Jon: Santa Ana.
Forest: How far away is that?
Jon: 50 miles?
Forest: That's manageable.
Jon: Haven't you seen The Walkmen before?
Forest: Yeah, but they're absolutely amazing live. I really want to see them again. Let's go!
I don't think you could find a room full of less enthusiastic people.

Forest: Jon?
Jon: I'm not enough of a fan to travel so far, and I'm not the one with a car.
Forest: Jord. Come on. The Walkmen. Tonight.
Jord: I dunno…
Forest: What time is the show?
Jon: Doors at 8:00 pm.
Forest: We can totally make it.
Jord: Eh.
Forest: Please, Jord. I flew out here from Michigan to help you with your documentary. The least you could do is give me a ride to see one of the most incredible bands in the universe. Please!
Jord: [sigh] Fine.
Forest: Thank you sooo much. You're the best.

7:15 pm
Jord: Ready to go?
Forest: Let me just make a quick phone call and then we can leave.
[Forest dials a number and steps onto balcony]
Forest: мы уеэжаем теперь.

11:59 pm
Jord: [to Forest] Who are you working for? Tell me! WHO SENT YOU?

11:59:58 pm
11:59:59 pm
12:00 am