!pants; !pants; !pants;

The folks at Dairy Queen are funny.

Naming a series of tan-colored coffee drinks "MooLattés"? That's funny.

I'm sure the DQ wizards already have Hapatizers and Choctoroons in development.

Do you think Mancow refers to his wife as "Dairy Queen"?

The NHL hiatus left ESPN2 scrambling to fill lost programming. Competitions for fringe sports like juggling and Scrabble have graced the Deuce in hockey's stead.

Yesterday, I caught the end of the 2005 MATHCOUNTS National Competition on ESPN2. Yes, the middle school mathematics program.

The two finalists were Chinese. Shocking, I know.

Detroit hosted this year's competition, likely resulting in the largest influx of Asian people into the city…ever.

But I digress.

Neal Wu vs. Mark Zhang. Wu won 4-1.

Wu could not have been less enthused when the host announced he'd won. Total blank expression on his face.

Some hack from ESPN interviewed the Louisianan 7th grader afterward.

Q: How did you get so fast?
Q: How did you learn all that math?

Then, the kicker (I am not making this up):

Q. What teacher helped you the most?
A: My math teacher.

Meh! To the wire!
Auto response from Rory Hornblower: the wire: season one
You gotta come over and take some solar bong rips wid me

Yup…these are my friends.