Today, there are what seem to be thousands and thousands of bloggers who spend most of their time writing about what other bloggers blog.
The blogosphere (God, I hate that term) has seemingly become the equivalent of flipping through cable news channels when a white girl is missing.
I really like the song "Let Me Hold You" by Bow Wow feat. Omarion.
Like, "song of the year" like.
To quote Paul McCartney: "Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs, and what's wrong with that?"
Because the bulk of our readership is allergic to black people, I uploaded the song for reference.
Bow Wow mimics mentor Jermaine Dupri's cadence so deftly that I initially thought it was Dupri on the mic.
In the chorus, Omarion sings "I'm gonna hold you down and make sure everything is right with you."
Hold you down?
Incidentally, the aforementioned line is also in a script I wrote for an adult film set at a gynecologist's office.
"I just gotta work at it like a crack addict up in rehab" probably not the best analogy for persistence.
No rhymes about Mickey Mouse jewelry?
The third verse is the fuckin' name game we played in kindergarten!
Related: So Nick Cannon's new song consists of the full-grown ghost of his potential self singing to his mom, asking her not to abort him?
The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon would be infinitely more entertaining if Jerry Lewis had muscular dystrophy.
With "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy finally impacting mainstream radio, I figured it'd be a good time to discuss semantics.
"We're goin' da-duh lee-loo-luh-lee around, and sugar, we're goin' down swinging."
What the hell is the bolded part?
Patrick sings it like ten times in the song. You'd think he could enunciate at least one of those times.
As for looking up lyrics online, yes, I am that lazy. I can live with "da-duh lee-loo-luh-lee." Have since April…
Did you know that Kristin on Laguna Beach dated Matt Leinart? Yet another reason I hate him.
Like, "piss on the open casket at his wake" hate.
Cold Stone Creamery serves wretched ice cream, but I still visit one every now and then.
You see, Cold Stone employees are obligated to sing predetermined sunshiny tunes whenever someone puts money in the tip jar. Cold Stone employees are also predominantly teenagers who merely want spending money.
But they all have to sing if you tip!
I recommend visiting a Cold Stone with a harem and taking turns tipping so as not to arouse suspicion.
Of course, harems are suspicious to begin with.
Doesn't it seem like Samuel L. Jackson is always dying in his movies? We review his best cinematic swan songs.
Word on Deep Blue Sea.