Where are they now?
Today: The Boxcar Children.
I caught up with Benny, the youngest Alden, at his home in Greenfield, Massachusetts.
Jon: Is this the infamous boxcar?
Benny: Yup.
Jon: You moved back into the boxcar?
Benny: My ex-wife received the house in our divorce.
Jon: Surely your grandfather must have left you a sustainable inheritance.
Benny: He did, but I kinda squandered it on a…Nigeria Internet scam. [pause] Henry was always the smart one.
Jon: Speaking of whom, how is he?
Benny: Died in train wreck. Ironic, I know.
Jon: What about Jessie and Violet?
Benny: Jess succumbed to cancer. Vi lives in Washington, D.C. with her life partner. Did you know that their twin boys ran away from home?
Jon: Oh?
Benny: Yeah. They were like a Boxcar Children redux, only with a meth problem. Cops found their bodies months later floating in the deep fryers of a Chick-fil-A in Towson. That's one mystery I never managed to solve, heh. Stumped even Leroy Brown. Granted, he had a stroke a year earlier…
Jon: So what do you do nowadays?
Benny: I write a lot of CSI fan fiction. I'm currently brushing up on my poker skills against the poker pros at bodog.net, hoping to parlay my next royalty check into a catamaran or a car-boat if I'm lucky. Also, I masturbate to a lot of CSI fan fiction.
Jon: Boxcar Adult Benny Alden, everyone.
