I'm gonna rise up / I'm gonna kick a little ass / I'm gonna kick some ass in the U.S.A. / I'm gonna climb a mountain / I'm gonna sew a flag / I'm gonna fly on an eagle / I'm gonna kick some butt / I'm gonna drive big trucks / I'm gonna rule this world / I'm gonna kick some ass / I'm gonna rise up / Gonna kick a little ass / Rock on flyin' eagle!
With finals over, regular updates resume.
Previously on Adam Riff™:
One of my father's friend's daughters is getting married in October.
The bride's parents are asking ME to solemnize their daughter's marriage.
"Request an appointment as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner for a Day!"
Every day, my mother relays more requests.
"Can you still play cello? Crystal's parents want you to play music at her wedding."
"Crystal's parents want you to design a web site for her wedding."
"Do you still have your video camera? Crystal's parents want you to film her wedding."
Are Crystal and her fiancée lepers? I wonder. Who do her parents think I am? Eddie Murphy?
I haven't talked to the girl in five years and suddenly I'm multitasking for her fuckin' wedding.
"You know, I have a name…" he adds.
I've been seeing Snickers candy bar logos on local buses with the text modified to read made-up adjectives like "substantialiscious" or "nougatocity."
I want to meet the marketing genius who thought "hungerectomy" would increase sales.
The jingle on the radio caught my attention. Old Navy partnered with WHO for a sales promotion?
Apparently, I can also win the opportunity to spout lame jokes about Suri Cruise.
More baffling hip hop remake: "Chain Hang Low" or "Stunna Glasses at Night"?
Wrestling Observer:
A reality show is being pitched that would focus on 80s wrestling stars, including Jim Duggan and Kamala, and follow them without a script.
Duggan's wife works in real estate, while Kamala drives a truck and sings.
Somebody greenlight the damn thing already! Kamala drives a truck and sings!!!
related: Shannon Moore rides the New York City subway [sigh]
+ Sometimes the NYT just makes me laugh
+ Our eyes met through my mask – m4w – 21
+ Tucker Carlson To Be On "Dancing With The Stars"