As long as their soda cans are red, white and blue ones

My best friends in college are getting married — to each other — and I'm not sure what to gift them, nor how much to spend on my gift.

Is $1000 enough?

They set up a honeymoon cruise registry, but c'mon… I'd fund terrorists before I fund a bloody cruise.

June 23? Pooh.

Doug and Elizabeth probably wouldn't appreciate me skipping their wedding reception to watch Stephen Baldwin fight wizards.

"Sci-Fi Originals" from the past several years:

Alien Apocalypse, Alien Blood, Alien Express, Alien Hunter, Alien Lockdown, Android Apocalypse, Anonymous Rex, Attack of the Sabretooth, Basilisk: The Serpent King, Boa vs. Python, Cerberus, Chupacabra Terror, Crocodile, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, Dragon Dynasty, Dragon Fighter, Dragon Storm, Dungeons & Dragons 2, Fire Serpent, Frankenfish, Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness, Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, House of the Dead 2, Kaw, Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, Lake Placid 2, Larva, Locusts: The 8th Plague, Mammoth, Man with the Screaming Brain, Man-Thing, Mansquito, Manticore, Minotaur, Octopus, Octopus 2: River of Fear, Pterodactyl, Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, Python, Python 2, Raging Sharks, Raptor Island, Raptor Island 2: Raptor Planet, Reign of the Gargoyles, Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave, S.S. Doomtrooper, Sabretooth, Sasquatch, Sasquatch Hunters, Sasquatch Mountain, Savage Planet, Shapeshifter, Shark Attack, Shark Attack 2, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Shark Zone, Skeleton Man, Snakehead Terror, Snakeman, Species 3, Spiders, Spiders 2: Breeding Ground, Voodoo Moon and Webs.

Raptor Island 2: Raptor Planet. Lulz.


Press release quote of the week:

Jamie Roberts, GSN's Senior Vice President of Programming said, "Getting Dennis Miller to be our host on GRAND SLAM is the game show equivalent of landing the #1 draft pick."

…and selecting Mario Williams.


Jack Bauer Be@rbrick
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