Eat Shit

"What's in an Italian B.M.T.?"
"Salami, pepperoni and ham."
"Can I get a B.M.T. with turkey instead of ham?"

"NO!" the sandwich artist said emphatically.

Why so fascist about substitutions, Subway?

Previously, at a different franchise, I asked for extra turkey instead of ham in a Subway Club and was similarly shot down.


Mexican fast food restaurants always grant my request for extra rice instead of beans. Why is swapping slices of turkey for ham so impossible?

If I can't replace ham, then at least offer me a turkey combination without fucking ham!

I like how Subway promotes itself as a healthy alternative to burger joints, yet its current Scrabble game requires you to buy 32 oz. fountain drinks to play.