This is not an exit

Some AIDS victims are being buried alive in Papua New Guinea by relatives.

One was calling out "Mama, Mama" as soil was shoveled over his head.

"I said, 'Why are they doing that?' And they said, 'If we let them live, stay in the same house, eat together and use or share utensils, we will contract the disease and we too might die.'" [source]

"If we don't bury them alive, we'll be buried alive too!"

Oh, in that case…

At least nail the victims in a box so they can suffocate with dignity.

Live burials have fascinated me ever since I stumbled upon the made-for-cable-television movie Buried Alive in my youth.

Jennifer Jason Leigh plays an adulteress who doesn't murder her husband (Tim Matheson) enough.

The setup for this movie is absolutely absurd. If you're going to murder somebody, make sure you use all the poison. Then, don't dispense with the embalming. Then, don't go cheap on the casket, sticking him in a water-damaged coffin. Then, bury him a little deeper than two feet under. And then, only then, might you get away with it. [source]

From the director of The Shawshank Redemption!

I recall a scene in which one character burns another character's face on a stove, but I may be thinking of a different made-for-cable-television movie about feuding neighbors.

To this day, I regret letting Valentino reveal to me how a magician performs the "buried alive" escape.

Apparently, the magician slips into a hidden room underneath the grave, frees himself with duplicate keys and then just chills until it's time to resurface.

Lame, I know.

I'm planning a movie set in Papua New Guinea about a miserable woman who poisons her husband with HIV-infected blood. When she grants his request to dig his own grave, he crafts a grave above a hidden room. As she buries him alive, he slips into the room and plots his revenge.

"I'm gonna sneak into our house and lick all the spoons! Bwahaha!"