A "consultant" needed a replacement device urgently. I offered to send him one for free and in time for his trip if he promised to return his current device for repair and re-sale.

A line in our form RMA e-mail reads:

Consider insuring your shipment as we may charge you for loss or damage.

He replied:

If you charge me any more for this unit I will challenge the charges through my credit card company and also contact the Arkansas State Attorney General for consumer affairs.

He sounded like an unpleasant guy on the phone, but…oof. I desperately wanted to provoke him further.

I considered:
—replying "I'm shaking, I'm shaking!"
—replying "Tell Dustin I said 'Hi.'"
—annotating his return label with "Threat Level: Red."
—replying "Looks like we got us a sow here instead of a boar! I bet you can squeal like a pig!"

In the end, however, I opted for job security.

---

My boss messaged me from Singapore on Monday.

I arrive back on Friday. Do you want to work on Friday?
Uh…no?
Okay. Take Friday off.

Later:
I need you to install 600 hard drives and then package and ship the order.
Okay. By when?
Next Tuesday. The hard drives arrive on Wednesday.

"I hate my job," I thought.

Then:
Also, I need you to accompany me to CES. January 5-11.

An all-expense-paid week in Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show — I love my job.