Sometimes I scrap content conceived for Adam Riff™. In this case, I can't draw very well and the artist I asked disappeared.

Whoever wrote "The Twelve Days of Christmas" received an inordinate number of ridiculous gifts from his or her true love. I mean, 23 birds and a drumline?

Idea one: Mock eBay or Craigslist listings.

Eh, I thought.

Idea two: One-panel comic. A living room packed with all the gifts mentioned in the song. Wife glares at husband. Caption: "Fuck you" or "I want a divorce."

Idea three: Turn the comic into a Christmas card. Instead of a caption, superimpose "Merry Christmas."