"Next!"

I'd never seen her before. I considered passing, but I was the only person in line. I reluctantly approached the counter.

"Can I get a Chipotle Roast Beef sandwich?"

She consulted a laminated chart.

"Chipotle Roast Beef…"

Not again, I thought. Why do I always draw the noobs?

She spent two minutes just searching for the bread.

Finally: "I'm sorry, we're out of onion herb bread."
"Okay, wheat then."

---

"How are you doing today?" she asked.
"Good."

…until I met you, grandma.

---

The greens on the sandwich looked suspiciously like plain lettuce.

"Doesn't spring mix include spinach?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, we're out of spring mix. Is that a problem?"

OF COURSE IT'S A PROBLEM! YOU'RE ALTERING THE FLAVOUR PROFILE OF THE SANDWICH!

"Nah."

No bread, no greens — this is unacceptable! I ordered a Chipotle Roast Beef sandwich expecting fuckin' onion herb bread and spring mix! If you can't give me what's listed on the menu, then fuckin' take it off the goddamn menu!

I would've walked out if the manager hadn't already charged me.

$10.81. [sigh]