Sin Tetas No Hay Paraíso

The 1UP Yours crew (well, Shawn) recently pondered Grand Theft Auto's next move.

Now that they've got the equivalent of Vegas, L.A., San Francisco, New York and Miami, what's left? People have already done London. I think they've done Paris. If not, someone's doing it. What else are they gonna do? Chicago? Is that that different?

Chicago would only be interesting if it's Prohibition-era Chicago, which would limit the selection of vehicles and weapons considerably.

I heard a rumour that Niko is headed to San Andreas, but I hope Rockstar is more creative for episode ten.


Hong Kong
• no Asian GTA protagonist yet
• Tokyo is banal
• associated with gangsters
• residents speak English
• glitzy, seedy, over-the-top gambling mecca Macau is nearby (expansion area)

Future City a la Blade Runner
• deviates from the realism of previous GTA games, but permits impossible vehicles and weapons
• future satire
GTA 2 references

Rio de Janeiro a la City of God
• missions in sprawling favelas
"driving in Rio is hazardous due to aggressive driving habits, poorly maintained roads and the risk of being intercepted by bandits, especially at traffic lights"
• prostitution is legal
• soccer and baile funk > bowling and a comedy club

» Mariah Carey's first husband was 21 years older than her. Her second husband is 10 years younger than her. She'd be terrible on The Price Is Right.

» On Monday Night Raw, I glimpsed a guy wearing Insane Clown make-up. How is that nonsense still around?

» On Dancing with the Stars, a couple somehow danced to "Satellite" by Dave Matthews Band.

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"Hot Tub Time Machine"
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