When I returned to work on Monday, I discovered that my boss had emptied my bin of empty pop cans and freaked the fuck out.

dramatization:

You wouldn't like me when you don't recycle.

I don't care if it's ineffective! I only care that recyclables stay out of the trash.

Dulce et decorum est pro recycling mori.

After receiving my CES itinerary, I discovered that my boss booked me a flight to Vegas with a stop-over at LAX.

Travel time: 2:45.

I can fly to British Columbia in less time.

Already fuming over the missing pop cans, I fumed some more.

6:35 a.m. departure… He couldn't book a direct flight later? It's not like Southwest charges extra for direct flights. Heck, I see one at fuckin' 6:30 a.m.!

• Silly Squeakers Mr. Poops & Mini Poops
• Artist Makes Fat Cars
• Why Do We Make Things That Look Like Other Things?