Cut Your Ribbon

My boss entered my office and closed the door.

"Order #4546. The customer says he returned it because you weren't nice to him on the phone."


"He didn't like your tone."

"Was I too matter-of-fact?"

"He says you sounded like your father owned the company."

"Yet he finished placing his order."

"He says you mentioned the warranty but didn't elaborate."

"Because he didn't ask! I'm not a telemarketer. My job responsibilities don't include accepting phone orders either, but I do it because I'm a nice guy!"

"I know, I know. In the future, just try to be…warmer to customers."

"Right. Warmer."

Dearest Jeremy in Skokie:

How old are you? 12? Are you Stanley in Magnolia?

I hate the resolution to Stanley's story in Magnolia.

"Dad, you need to be nicer to me."

That's it?

Stanley's dad would probably be nicer to him for a while and then revert back to his old self.

People don't change…

related: Flight of the Conchords parodies Magnolia.

I Kicked Luis Gúzman In The Face
A young man's reputation is made once he makes up a story about kicking actor Luis Gúzman in the face. That is, until Luis hears about it.

Alas, Luis Gúzman does not appear in the short.

The Arnold One-Liner That Never Was
The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain – I'm On A Boat
Hipster Runoff Explained (Maybe)


  1. Anon 05 Feb 09 at 11:23

    Yea Skokes!

  2. hugo 05 Feb 09 at 15:01

    i still dont get why stanley is a fucking angel

    and isnt that the first time he's stood up to his dad? i was hoping he'd shoot his dad in the face. that would have been way more magnolia-y.


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