At the post office today, I discovered Gluguls – "alien glue sticks from another world" who "love to have exciting adventures with their kid-owners."

Each Glugul glue stick "has its own special power."

For example, one can glue shit together. Another can stick shit together.

"Collect them all."

All five…glue sticks.

Is it really necessary for glue sticks to appeal to children? I don't think children have strong opinions on glue sticks, or adhesives in general.

3M introduced Gluguls in 2005, so somewhere, some children have likely entertained themselves with fuckin' glue sticks – anthropomorphic ones, but glue sticks nonetheless.

When I was young, innovation was a purple glue stick.

Remember painting your face with rubber cement and playing Leper Colony?

• GOAGLE