Girl you know I-I-I

How Long People Live in America

Obama should watch his back.

All of the states that have legalized gay marriage are dark gray.

To celebrate a birthday is to celebrate aging, and aging is not something to celebrate after age 21.

"Make a wish!"
I wish my lower back pain would go away.

Some girls spend a whole week celebrating the onset of menopause.

For my birthday, I am giving up diet cola, wagering a decade-long habit (at every meal) on better health and stronger teeth in the future.

—and by "future," i mean "age 29"
—oh shaddup

We'll see how long I last. Giving up cola also means giving up caffeine, as I don't consume coffee, tea or energy drinks.


  1. L 06 Oct 09 at 17:51

    "Some girls spend a whole week celebrating the onset of menopause."

    Can you still call them "girls" at that age? Also, you mean celebrating as in sitting on the sofa in there sweats with a tub of ice cream, then yes they do.

  2. Aaron 06 Oct 09 at 19:04

    Some girls spend a whole week celebrating every birthday – post menopausal or not. They all went to my college.

    I completely agree with celebrating birthdays equaling celebrating aging. Unfortunately, most other people find this upsetting and overly cynical, as if a birthday is supposed to be some kind of celebration of one's sheer existence and life to date – which in the case of 99% of humans, I don't think is cause for much fanfare either, frankly.


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