The Flop

"I'm beside the…uh…Eyebrows R Us kiosk."
"The what kiosk?"
"Eyebrows R Us. The pioneers of eyebrow threading in Nevada."

» I saw a black woman dressed as a princess and holding a stuffed frog outside T.I.

» The only people who grab any of the whore cards pushed by Mexicans on the Strip seem to be smart-alec white guys who think imitating a Mexican pushing whore cards on the Strip is funny.

» I don't know anyone who's seen the Jubilee! show at Bally's.

» I waited nine long months to eat Mon Ami Gabi's chocolate pecan tart again and it wasn't available. I resorted to chasing bites of pecan pie with chocolate cake at the Bellagio buffet.

» Robin Leach may want to follow his own Healthy Lifestyles Cookbook. It's like he mistook his body for a camel hump.

The Fremont Street Experience

The Turn

"His badge said he works for 'ziptits.com.'"
[typing]
"ZipTits.com. The search engine with eye candy."

» My boss hired two booth babes. They somehow met both Tommy Lee and Kid Rock in the same day. Guess who they look like.

» We shared a hall with disposable electronic cigarettes, Jitterbug phones and The As-Seen-on-TV Hat.

» In Mandarin, "Apple" (the company) is similarly a homonym for "apple" (the fruit), but I just hear "fruit." I hear: "banana will use its own chip tech for the banana tablet."

» Panasonic showed off HD 3D with footage of last season's Ohio State vs. Michigan football game. Related: Domino's Pizza CEO Leaving To Be University Of Michigan Athletic Director.

» The coolest thing I saw at CES was the coolest thing I saw at the past three CESs – a 3D screen that doesn't require glasses.

The River

"Okay, Jon. Get behind Asians."

» Google's holiday gift of free wi-fi at airports is a bit disingenuous at airports that offer free wi-fi year-round.

Next: Macworld.

• Paper Parkour