"You can't rape a fetus!"
"Physically or ethically?"

—Oh God… I'm dreaming about fetal rape.

"Whether I can rape a fetus ethically depends on whether you believe a fetus is a human being or not. I can definitely rape a fetus physically, however. It's like fucking a squash."

—NO. Stop it, brain.

"Hello, Jon."
"Hi…"
"Your web site is unfocused."

—More dreaming about my web site? This is the alternative?

"I want you to assign each day of the week a theme, like WWE did with its pay-per-view events. All words of each theme must begin with the same letter. If you fail to complete this task, I will shoot you in the face. You have one minute. Go!"

"Uh… Movie Monday. Television Tuesday. W…oh! Wrestling Wednesday. Technology Thursday? No, we don't discuss technology enough. T… Pass! Film Friday."
"You duplicated Movie Monday."
"Oh. Uh…Food Friday! Sports Saturday."
"10 seconds…"
"S… Something Sunday…"
"Five…four…"
"S… T…"

BAM!

"I…I'm still alive!"

"Sorry, I didn't expect to ejaculate so forcefully into this fetus."

—BRAIN!!!!!

• I am going to have sex with different types of fruit. Here are the results of my experiment which I have submitted for peer review in the science journal Nature.
• Japan's milk-flavoured Fanta