Three Jews walk into a bar…and buy it!

In Super Mario Bros., Bowser is twice the height of regular Mario.

If Bowser is twice the height of regular Mario, however, then it is physically impossible for regular Mario to jump over Bowser to retract bridges.

Even Super Mario could not do it.

Super Mario is roughly the same height as Bowser.

In order to jump over Bowser, Super Mario would have to clear his own height, which is physically impossible.

The only way for Mario to physically defeat Bowser would be to pass underneath him, and even then, I doubt Bowser can physically jump very high.

Human hands cannot physically generate fireballs.

Hollywood's version of Goombas may be lame reptilian humanoids, but they are at least reasonably proportional to Bob Hoskins.

Assuming regular Mario is six feet tall, then Goombas in Super Mario Bros. are six-foot-tall anthropomorphic mushrooms, and Bullet Bills are six feet in diameter.

Mario 2: Six-foot-long turnips.

Mario 3: A sun that's roughly eight feet in diameter.

Assuming regular Mario is six feet tall, then Bowser is 12 feet tall – 18 feet tall in Mario 3, 24 feet tall in Mario World.

No way he fits in a go-kart…

Bracketology: A March Madness Data Visualization
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  1. Mig 10 Apr 10 at 17:55

    Don't even get me started on Sonic the Hedgehog.

    Good to have ya back, Mike.


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