I'm dogsitting for a mate and his dog (a pug?) does not respond to anything I say.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?"
Today, I mistakenly let the dog outside unleashed and he pooped on my neighbour's lawn and then led me on a chase in the rain like a rabbit in a polygonal Mario game.
The dog loiters outside my room when the door is shut. You say "man's best friend," I say "girl who cannot be single."