P: Hey, Jon. What is Mr. Chu's son's latest film called? Never…
J: Never Say Never.
P: Never Say Never! Is it like a Bond film?
J: Eh… Not exactly.
K: Who's the lead actor?
J: Justin Bieber. Do you…? No? The Taiwanese media doesn't cover him? Hey, B. How do you say "Justin Bieber" in Chinese?
B: I dunno…
J: He's a teen pop star.
K: Ah.

J: Duck is by far the tastiest meat. Duck, lamb, chicken, beef, pork – in that order.

My brother looks ridiculous reading his mobile while eating a lettuce wrap.

Idea: An updated version of Norman Rockwell's "Freedom From Want" painting in which all of the people seated at the table are absorbed by their mobiles.

J: I didn't think I needed a smartphone until buying cheese today.
A: What kind of cheese?
J: Sliced swiss cheese – for sandwiches. I was at Safeway, and wanted to check if any supermarkets are selling sliced swiss cheese for less than $3.99, but couldn't, frustratingly, and resorted to driving to four other supermarkets to check in person.

J: The sheriff only moved like two blocks down from his old house.
B: You mean, down Apricot?
J: Um…

I'm terrible with street names. I'm a visual navigator. When I used to order pizzas for delivery, I could never name my cross street.

F: Sophie, show Uncle Jon.
J: Show Uncle Jon what? Oh. A cupcake creator iPhone app.

She put a menorah on her cupcake.
J: Did you create all of these cupcakes?
Another cupcake, another menorah.

J: Sophie, this isn't candles. Well, it is, but…

Why is a menorah a cupcake topping option?

J: Hey, Robert. We didn't get fortune cookies. Can I get…? Give me two, so I can opt to pass on the first fortune Showcase Showdown-style. Thanks.

"The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected." Meh. Bedroom set. C'mon, car!

"The star of riches will shine on you beginning next month."

Figures that I receive this fortune at the beginning of this month.