Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

45. Clay's sermon (Sons of Anarchy, S06E09)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Why would you headbutt me?"
    "I was gonna punch you, but I'm holding wine." (Bob's Burgers, S04E03)
  • "I am relaxed." (Boardwalk Empire, S04E09)
  • "Nobody messes with me, nobody messes with you, and nobody messes with Maria's titties." (Eastbound and Down, S04E06)
  • "He never came inside that woman. After a few pumps, he withdrew his penis, and he started smashing it between the ring and the lid of the toilet for penance." (Eastbound and Down, S04E06)
  • "God-damn woman! Throwing fuckin' mustard at me." (Eastbound and Down, S04E06)
  • "My clitoris beat my vagina?" (Masters of Sex, S01E06)
  • "LBC. Wet dick posse."
    "Ohhh. Sopping wet dicks. Yes, please." (Hello Ladies, S01E06)
  • "Why'd you come to LA, dog?"
    "Uhh… I had to get out of England. Some shit went down."
    "Yeah? What kind of shit?"
    "Well, um, there was some, uhh, chaps, uhh, making, making trouble in my, in my, neighbourhood…" (Hello Ladies, S01E06)
  • "Are you just watching us like we're Homeland?" (Fresh Meat, S03E01)
  • "A lot of fat guy clothes have racist overtones." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E07)
  • "You and Malia broke up?"
    "Yeah. She got real fat on me, so I was like, eww, bye."
    "I guess her gain is our gain." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "For a chub, you're a terrible heavy." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "Is that Notorious N.A.G.? Is that Naggie Gyllenhaal?" (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "Work trumps girls. Girls are replaceable, jobs are forever." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "If he can pee in Brazil, he can pee in my house." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "You're drinking on a Tuesday and you are a teacher."
    "Oh, those kids are watching a movie tomorrow." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "He's gonna get the whole precinct. This is a high income area. They're very bored in there." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "Serpentine!" (New Girl, S03E07)
  • "This is your worst nightmare. There's a very good looking man in my bed, and he's naked, and I'm flushed, and I'm flustered. I might as well just spray paint 'Jay Cutler sucks!' on the wall and just round out the whole image." (New Girl, S03E07)
  • Chucky and his kazoo (Sons of Anarchy, S06E09)

(South Park, S17E06)

(It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S09E10)

  • "When do you want me to serve the squash and the beef?"
    "So we're literally serving squash and beef?"
    "You said we're squashing beef. I thought it would be part of the ceremony to have squash and beef."
    "Yeah, it's all about the ceremony. That's why I got this bucket of dirt and a hatchet, so we can have a ceremonial burying of the hatchet."
    "Right, and after we do that, we're going to wipe the slate clean." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S09E10)
  • "That was three pumps, and the rulebook says you cannot have more than two. Clearly three pumps." (Key and Peele, S03E08)
  • "I'll take that ?uestlove down to a Kevin Hart in 20 minutes." (The League, S05E10)
  • "I kinda accidentally gave you the Skrillex."
    "You shaved half of my pubes off?" (The League, S05E10)
  • "It's gonna be three weeks before I get a Howie Long going. Another two years before I get my Polamalu back." (The League, S05E10)

(The League, S05E10)

  • "And get me a Coke." (American Horror Story, S03E05)
  • "You're one step up from the men who stand in front of Home Depot." (American Horror Story, S03E05)
  • "I look like Siegfried and Roy." (Glee, S05E04)
  • "It's called a 'swing gush.'" (The Greatest Event in Television History 3, 11-07-13)
  • "As I said when I saw the bassist for the Pixies, it's a Deal." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S02E14)


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