44. "The year's most amazingly-directed television scene" (Quarry, S01E08)
The first seven-and-a-half minutes is one unbroken take. There's two seams – one when the plane flies overhead, the second as he throws the grenade in and it explodes.
- Amy distracts Raquel's brother (Crazyhead, S01E02)
- Jon reads Gear-i's screenplay (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
- Potato Parcel pitch (Shark Tank, S08E06)
- Tina as Liberace (Bob's Burgers, S07E03)
- ♫: End credits song (Bob's Burgers, S07E03)
- "Think of your life as a good time, not a long time." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E04)
- "I wouldn't kill a spider either, because they're reincarnated wizards." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
"Hey, uhh, you guys have any herpes cream I could borrow?"
"Oh, yeah, I think we might. A friend left some here." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
"No wonder Alangulon only knows about Zephyria through stereotypes. You've taught him nothing."
"Well, maybe you should educate him. I find the best way to do that is through a culture's cuisine. That's how I learned all about Ohio." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
- Fried hay (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
- "Can you use your karate to open up this pickle jar?" (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
- The hatchet on the roof of the RV (The Walking Dead, S07E01)
- RT: HOW DARE #TWD try to recreate the Fast franchise's outside dinner table camaraderie. (The Walking Dead, S07E01)
- ♫: Piano "A Forest" (Westworld, S01E04)
- "One more word and I'll cut your throat, understand? This is my fucking vacation." (Westworld, S01E04)
- "This is the finest tobacco a man can enjoy, hand-rolled on the ample thighs of exotic women." (Westworld, S01E04)
- "Slap leather, cocksuckers." (Westworld, S01E04)
- "My fingers are Bugles." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E04)
"I told Molly I'd meet her at this stupid thing."
"But you coming home, right? Don't let me catch you in the Rite-Aid."
"Too soon." (Insecure, S01E03)
- "Bitch, I'm-a call bell hooks on you." (Insecure, S01E03)
"Why don't more of them swim?"
"Slavery." (Insecure, S01E03)
- Jessica waking up Emery and Evan with the smell of a world history textbook (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E03)
- "You shouldn't fuck with Mike Painter." (Channel Zero, S01E03)
- "You must be confusing me with some other black guy." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Nigga, do I gotta explain alliteration?" (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Is this Hennessy?" (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "I prefer Craig Mack." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "It all takes place at a strip club. Two gangbangers hold a pastor, a drug dealer, and a pregnant teen hostage in the middle of Hurricane Katrina." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Can't eat if you don't open your mouth." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "I like Craig, but I love my money." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Jim Crow is haunting me / Like in that movie Poltergeist." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Every decent person has at least one triflin' thug in the family." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "I'm not gonna go back to Africa and find my roots, because, you know what? I'm fuckin' broke, dude." (Atlanta, S01E09)
- "Stop being so likable." (Atlanta, S01E09)
"Amy likes to fish in the river."
"Really? I didn't know there were fish in there. What do you catch?"
"Goldfish. Starfish. Cod." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
"What was that?"
"It's foxes. Foxes having sex. They have barbs. On their dicks. It's a basic design flaw." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
- "Sometimes, if I've run out of toilet paper, I use sliced bread to clean myself. If I run out of that, I use slices of ham. It's like a poor man's wet wipe." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
"Why did they bring him to an ice rink? Are demons into figure skating or something?"
"Do demons like figure skating? Did you really just ask me that?"
"I'm not familiar with their leisure pursuits." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
"That is beyond gross."
"You wipe your ass with meat." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
- "This is trending on Twitter – the real one, not the black one Empire owns." (Black-ish, S03E05)
"Haha. Like a regular Dane Cook."
"That's not a compliment, Bow. We've gone through this." (Black-ish, S03E05)
"Why are you smiling? You know Charlie's not really dead, right?"
"Yeah. But one day…" (Black-ish, S03E05)
- "Leave me alone. I'm not American. I'm not used to all this carnage." (American Horror Story, S06E07)
- Seasoning Lee's leg (American Horror Story, S06E07)
- "GEEEEEAR!" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
- "I was really excited to try out some of my sweet new camping gear. These cool walking sticks took my mind off the fact that three out of four people on this camping trip were fucking all night. The fine craftsmanship of this Audubon bird call distracted me from the searing humiliation and emasculation of being left out of a sex orgy. These cool tiny binoculars allowed me to not only get a close-up view of a Eurasian wryneck, but also a bird's-eye view of three people fucking inside a GEERTOP double layer two person tent." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
- "Gear-i, would you read the lyrics to 'Hey Jealousy' by the Gin Blossoms?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
- Covering Steve's face with a black box in the title sequence (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
"It's not an adult film. It's not a porno."
"But we're gonna show tit." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
"If we get the Glase, this movie gets AIDS."
"Sorry, it was the first thing I thought of that rhymed." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
- "Kant would say that lying in any scenario is wrong, so if Michael asks you if you killed Janet, you should say 'yes.' On the other hand, snitches do get stitches." (The Good Place, S01E08)
- "I used to take her to the mall sometimes and bought her churro dogs – it's a hot dog, but the bun is two churros, and it's tied together with a Slim Jim. It's an Arizona delicacy." (The Good Place, S01E08)
- ♫: The Tallest Man on Earth – "Love Is All" (Better Things, S01E08)
- Quarry Season Grade: C-
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta
music genre: video game
Seth Everman is amazing.