Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. Pasta Bañana (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E07)


Honourable Mention

  • Shootout (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)

Stray Observations

  • "So what's everybody's Christmas plans?"
    "I'm going to treat myself to a new penis." (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)
  • "Hey, where did all the tiny candy canes go? Augie…"
    "What? I needed them for my tiny candy cane trees."
    "But how the hell will my candy cripples walk?" (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)
  • "You're carolers, right? I love carolers."
    "Love killing them, or…?"
    "What?"
    "Nothing." (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)
  • "What's happening?"
    "We're pointing guns at each other's gingerbread houses, obviously."
    "Where were you even hiding that?"
    "Let's just say I have a high butt crack." (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)
  • "Okay, now you say something nice about me."
    "You have pretty…eye?" (Bob's Burgers, S07E07)
  • Kevin's pronunciation of "ouroboros" (Shameless, S07E09)
  • "I do not show love regular. I show by doing. I fix bar. I watch kids. I cook. I give oral. I protect from dangerous Russian. Everything for these two."
    "Kev and Vee, are you hearing Lana?"
    "Yes."
    "What is she saying?"
    "She gives oral." (Shameless, S07E09)
  • William McPoyle-ing (Westworld, S01E09)
  • "If you were to proclaim your humanity to the world, what do you imagine would greet you? A ticker tape parade, perhaps? We humans are alone in this world for a reason. We murdered and butchered anything that challenged our primacy. Do you know what happened to the Neanderthals, Bernard? We ate them. We destroyed and subjugated our world. And when we eventually ran out of creatures to dominate, we built this beautiful place." (Westworld, S01E09)
  • "The piano doesn't murder the player if it doesn't like the music." (Westworld, S01E09)
  • "Never place your trust in us. We're only human. Inevitably, we will disappoint you." (Westworld, S01E09)
  • "So, uhh, should I play some music or something like that? I have, like, a week left on my trial subscription to Tidal…" (Insecure, S01E08)
  • "Sorry for making this about me."
    "Yeah, make it about it's my birthday. It'll be about you if you get hit or have a baby." (Insecure, S01E08)
  • "Damn her pussy fat." (Insecure, S01E08)
  • "Is that why Lawrence hit you?" (Insecure, S01E08)
  • Insecure Season Grade: B-
  • "Never meet your heroes. Marie Callender was a real bitch." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "I know it sounds crazy, but the Caribbean might be more fun than Iowa."
    "In what universe?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "You pantsing Patrick Ewing has nothing to do with this." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "I don't need Monty Hall ruining my place of work when Monty Hall has already ruined my home life." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "BO-O-O-O-NE!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "The council of the cousins."
    "Look at them. It's like a beige of pigs." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "How many Knicks have you pantsed?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "You always smell just a little bit like vanilla."
    "That's my soap. I got it at Lush." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E08)
  • "Ohh, this was a double-edged coin." (New Girl, S06E08)
  • They shot at Costco but couldn't use an actual Costco card as a prop? (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E06)
  • "Oh, dad!"
    "Yes?"
    "Oh, sorry. That's my default way of speaking. I meant 'Ohh, dad…'" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E06)
  • "Mom, you said you'd be out here 10 minutes ago."
    "I'm getting JJ dressed, okay?"
    "JJ's right here."
    "Okay, fine, I was doing a maze." (Speechless, S01E08)
  • "Wow, so your boy got himself a snowflake."
    "Yup."
    "And, he didn't even have to become a professional athlete." (Black-ish, S03E08)
  • "We want it to look like the VIP lounge at American Airlines."
    "I have $62."
    "Fine. Delta Airlines." (Black-ish, S03E08)
  • "So you mean to tell me that you have two John Mayer tickets on you at all times."
    "At all times. They tried to offer me Dave Matthews tickets, but I don't want a woman that white." (Black-ish, S03E08)
  • "A group of Korean women is called a 'raft.'" (Black-ish, S03E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

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