Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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17. Roadkill (Dave, S01E09)

Honourable Mention

  • Elliot vs. Albanians fight (Gangs of London, S01E01)
  • Elliot vs. gypsy butcher fight (Gangs of London, S01E01)
  • Grocery Store Ad (Saturday Night Live, S45E17)

Stray Observations

  • "I think humanity is a thin layer of bacteria on a ball of mud hurtling through the void. I think if there was a God, he would've given up on us long ago. He gave us a paradise, and we used everything up. We dug up every ounce of energy and burned it. We consume and excrete, use and destroy. Then we sit here on a neat little pile of ashes, having squeezed anything of value out of this planet, and we ask ourselves, 'Why are we here?' You wanna know what I think your purpose is? It's obvious. You're here, along with the rest of us, to speed the entropic death of this planet. To service the chaos. We're maggots eating a corpse." (Westworld, S03E06)
  • "Don't pick up nothin' that don't serve you, girl." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "It's uncomfortable but it's, like, good uncomfortable." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "Press my booty button." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "I don't like this. Condola talking to old girl about you. They gonna start a podcast about your dick." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "Look at all this gluten." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • ♫: Zaia – "Waste My Time" (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "Hey, y'all wanna buy some chocolate? It's for the homeless."
    "Is it?"
    "Uh-uh." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "There's too much salt."
    "I ain't makin' another roux. We just gonna have to die." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "We have put as many resources as we can towards finding Toyota." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • "They never find us." (Insecure, S04E02)
  • ♫: Justice Allah – "Drunk Off Water" (Insecure, S04E02)
  • ♫: KAMAUU – "Far Rockaway" (Insecure, S04E02)
  • ♫: Lake Street Drive – "Just Ask" (Run, S01E02)


(Better Call Saul, S05E10)

  • Better Call Saul Season Grade: C
  • The Plot Against America Season Grade: C
  • "I am once, twice, three times a very happy man."
    "Me too."
    "Sorry, sorry. Inappropriate." (Breeders, S01E09)
  • "How are they, dad?"
    "Still very painful. […] Oh, the kids." (Breeders, S01E09)
  • "They spell Kids' Club with an apostrophe before the S." (Breeders, S01E09)
  • "I mean, it'll be a normal temperature, whatever normal is. Is it 36? It'll be a normal 36, I imagine." (Breeders, S01E09)
  • "Cigarette?"
    "No. See, the cigarette's just a MacGuffin. It's the standing still I'm really addicted to." (Breeders, S01E09)
  • "We are diverse within ourselves." (Mrs. America, S01E04)
  • "Lesbians are welcome. Horizontal hostility is not." (Mrs. America, S01E04)


(What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)

  • "Virgins in my area" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Um, ocupado."
    "Yes. Uh, we are just taking a nice shit together." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Calm yourself, dear. You're just feeling a little bit demented, that's all. I'm so sorry about your brain." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Sorry about how demented you are." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "And here it is, the crown jewel of the home: The world's largest collection of Ocean's Twelve memorabilia." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Yeah, it's like, they did some decent world-building in Eleven, but it all pays off in Ocean's Twelve."
    "You need to fucking stop talking about the sea." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "You are a lying piece of old cabbage!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Uh, not now. We are taking a human shit together."
    "Have either of you two seen a jade necklace containing the bloodcurdling screams of my dead mother in here?"
    "Eh… Oh, maybe check behind the Andy Garcia cross-stitch." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "I'll go get my head-ripping gloves." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "She was such a brilliant LARPer." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E03)
  • "Oh, that's the one where George Clooney's the fox, right?"
    "No, no no. Breaking Bad is a TV show. It's, like, about meth. You're thinking of Fantastic Mr. Fox." (Dave, S01E09)
  • "You know I can ejaculate hands-free?"
    "Well, sounds like you don't need me then for your, uh, Bluetooth orgasm."
    "I'm not gonna do it right now. I'm gonna let the cream brew." (Dave, S01E09)
  • "♫ Fuck hikes / Fuck hikes / They really hurt my back ♫"
    "You know it sounds like you're saying 'fuck Jews,' right?" (Dave, S01E09)


(Dave, S01E09)


(Dave, S01E09)

  • "I re-invented diarrhea." (Dave, S01E09)
  • "Okay, first of all, he's a horse, so he can't be condescending." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E13)
  • "Wrap the ice cream in the ham like a taquito." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E13)
  • "Charles, meet Mac. Short for McClane."
    "As in Shirley? I love it." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E13)
  • "Mommy brain much?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E13)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C
  • Ruben Rabasa (Better Things, S04E09)
  • "So beautiful. It reminds me of my mother."
    "Okay, everyone into the ice vagina." (Harley Quinn, S02E04)
  • "Four minutes early. Perfect. Eager, but not desperate." (Harley Quinn, S02E04)
  • "I'm so cold, my nuts are the size of Dippin' Dots!" (Harley Quinn, S02E04)
  • "Wait, you're telling me aioli is just mayo mixed with something else?"
    "A little bit of an industry secret." (Harley Quinn, S02E04)
  • "And then, we can give your healthy blood to your wife."
    "[imitating Borat] 'Your wife!'" (Harley Quinn, S02E04)
  • "And you did all that on your own? What was it, six of them?"
    "Uh, eight. But I had a dart, so…" (Gangs of London, S01E01)


(Gangs of London, S01E05)


(Gangs of London, S01E05)


(Gangs of London, S01E07)

  • "I feel nothing, nothing at all."
    "At least honor his death with satisfaction." (Gangs of London, S01E09)
  • Gangs of London Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Dave

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