Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

19. ♫: The Weeknd – "I'm a Virgin" (American Dad, S17E02)

Honourable Mention

  • Dreams (Saturday Night Live, S45E18)

Stray Observations

  • "Conservative incumbent Jesse Helms won a fourth term, defeating liberal black Harvey Gantt." (The Last Dance, S01E05)
  • "Free will does exist, Caleb. It's just fucking hard." (Westworld, S03E08)
  • "It took money to build this world, Caleb. It'll take money to tear it down." (Westworld, S03E08)
  • "I'm surprised you were so easily seduced, but then again, you are a man." (Westworld, S03E08)
  • "I am done worshipping other people's gods." (Westworld, S03E08)
  • Westworld Season Grade: D
  • "You going to the swimming pool, guys?"
    "No, I'm going to Hooters. Watch some tits and ass." (The Last Dance, S01E06)
  • "I think he only dates Abigails."
    "No, why? He's at a firm with negroes. There is no way."
    "Think about it, y'all. He went to Princeton undergrad, he plays guitar…"
    "Oh, my god. He's been here two weeks and ordered six salads. He loves salad." (Insecure, S04E04)
  • "God bless them, but never marry a teacher. How are you miserable and you get summers off?" (Insecure, S04E04)
  • "Damn, Jada. I see you out here Red Table talking."
    "[laughter] I'm Willow!" (Insecure, S04E04)
  • "Your grandma taunts you by text in the middle of the night?"
    "That's new."
    "She's been a nightmare since the new tariff." (Run, S01E04)
  • Lady Yoda (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "Jesus! The 'tickets, please' guy is cut! He's got those things. What do you call them? Um, cum gutters." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "You okay, dad?"
    "Is this real?"
    "I doubt it, but you get what you get when you eat dinner in an arcade." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "Morty, do you know what the Bechdel Test is?"
    "The what?"
    "For God's sake, Morty, the formula for measuring female agency in a story proposed by lesbian cartoonist Allison—what the hell are they teaching you in that school?!"
    "Why is lesbian part of her job title?!"
    "Oh, now you're progressive?!" (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "Your special time is your power. It makes you strong like a boob." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "Fight them with your heavy special time." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "You are, like, 90% cum gutter." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • VeggieTales (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • "He gets to spend eternity in every writer's hell: the Bible." (Rick and Morty, S04E06)
  • Black-ish Season Grade: C
  • "Well, isn't that something? You wanna join Women Who Want to be Women."
    "That…that's the name of your organization?"
    "WWWW for short."
    "Is that shorter?" (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "Billy likes to say that we educate men and women through college to be precisely equal, but then the men go off to do interesting things." (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "You wanna get ahead climbing on the shoulders of men, Phyllis, fine. Just know they're looking right up your skirt." (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "I just wish you'd said, 'She's not outspoken. She's the normal amount of spoken. She speaks about as much as any man.'" (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "We're all secretaries to them." (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "Under President Ford, America is on a steady course. Keep him."
    "'Keep him'? That's the best they could do?" (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "We're all secretaries to them." (Mrs. America, S01E06)
  • "So, we have decided to rotate our artworks. This was part of a bigger thing called 'The Guernica.' I just cut off the bit that has got me in it." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E05)
  • "Recognize this? It's my vulva." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E05)
  • "He's a wild card, that one."
    "What are you talking about? He's not a wild card. He's the card you get on the top of the deck that has the instructions on it, so you throw it away." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E05)
  • "He's in death mode so as to preserve energy." (What We Do in the Shadows, S02E05)
  • "I knew a vegetarian once. She die." (Betty, S01E02)
  • ♫: Basement Jaxx – "Magnificent Romeo" (Betty, S01E02)
  • "You read The Alchemist, right?" (Betty, S01E02)
  • "Gretchen‐Darth Mall" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • "Schwifty live jazz" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • "I don't even know what's real anymore. Is Friends real?" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • "Look at this place. It's Trim City!" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • "Put your sin in me."
    "His catchphrases need work."
    "Y'all ready for bisque?" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • "Did you dump Diet Coke in her exposed brain?" (Solar Opposites, S01E01)
  • Nintendo Switch (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "It worked. We have pee data on everyone in the neighborhood!" (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "And now, back to Solar Opposites. Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring." (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "Old people only drink Coke and they never shower." (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "This is just like the movie Green Room!" (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "Do you really want to elect a man who's been inside your balls?" (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "Did they make a True Lies 2?" (Solar Opposites, S01E02)
  • "The only good ceremony involving children is the Jewish one where they cut off the penis." (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "This is just like the time when I married Ansel Elgort." (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "I wanted to be on Kimmel." (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • Penn and Teller (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "I'm as famous as a magician can get. Think the third Hemsworth brother." (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "Girls of the Pac-10!" (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "Benihana, bitch." (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "I Now You See Me'd you!" (Solar Opposites, S01E03)
  • "My plan is to just slip into the seat, do nothing, then eventually, it'll seem normal that I'm there. It worked for Hulu." (Solar Opposites, S01E04)
  • "Aiden, Braden, Jaeden, Mark." (Solar Opposites, S01E04)
  • "He's filling up our DVR with Madam Secretary." (Solar Opposites, S01E04)
  • "This town has a real problem with unexplained high-concept injuries." (Solar Opposites, S01E04)

(Solar Opposites, S01E04)

  • "Brace yourself. I saw this on Starz." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "Hey, can you please trap Jesse in the hell dimension? She sucks ass."
    "No. That dimension is for work enemies and Ansel Elgort only." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "An intense psychological mind game, not unlike the Academy Award‐winning film Suicide Squad." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "I don't mean to live más right now, but instead of thinking outside the box, maybe they should be thinking outside the [vomits]." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "2Pac is like oxygen because we need him to live, while Sisqó is more like plutonium because he was kinda just a one‐hit wonder that we've forgotten about." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • Molecular biology textbook dumb-ray'd into the Bible (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • Gronk jersey (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "Fuck you, spider." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "Whoa, Terry, let's watch all the Resident Evils." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "After this, let's do reverse cowgirl in the theatre. Then we're ass‐eating in the chem lab."
    "But I'm wearing open‐toed sandals." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "We caught the teachers eating each other's asses, so they gave us A's in all our classes." (Solar Opposites, S01E05)
  • "Think about it. Tig. Old. Bitties."
    "I‐I definitely understand. It's announcing that the bitties are aged."
    "Oh, my favorite bitties are tig." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "I just need to find a glass ceiling and shatter the crap out of it. Otherwise, Jill Soloway made I Love Dick for nothing." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "Everyone on the internet is always fighting about who can be president or who can bust ghosts." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "Dig old bicks" (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "Ah, football is amazing. Apparently, we can watch jets battle the color brown."
    "This is a color brown house. We are color brown fans under this roof." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)

(Solar Opposites, S01E06)

  • "Chads, we got a girl on the team!" (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "I'm the first woman to mansplain jazz. It's, like, all about syncopation." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "You know what I do when I'm out of ideas? Cocaine. And then I get, like, a million ideas at once." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • "Don't worry, you won't be bored. I made you a cuck‐bot for company. I didn't try to make him look like Ted Cruz. It just happens with these things." (Solar Opposites, S01E06)
  • Kramer (Solar Opposites, S01E07)
  • "Let us reflect on all the bowed one's kind words and wondrous deeds: The time she gave us beef jerky."
    "All thanks to Jesse."
    "The day she changed Yumyulack's phone alarm to not be Maroon 5." (Solar Opposites, S01E07)
  • "I guess I'll have to force Jesse to like me with Craig T. and Nelson." (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • "Oh, god, I made love to a lot of equations in here."
    "Oh, you fucked math?" (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • "Hey, man, I can't live with a dude this basic. I bet he has a true crime podcast. Like, he does one. Listening, cool. Doing one, yee‐hee…" (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • "I thought you said frozen yogurt was ice cream for narcs." (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • "You turned him into a Game Boy cartridge."
    "Just forget what you saw here, sir."
    I can't! It's so specific!" (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • "I mean, how are we sure that we're not in a The Matrix or a Matrix Reloaded?"
    "Because there would be green numbers floating around and leather sunglasses."
    "Well, it's gotta be something. Okay, and I can figure this out. I mean, we could be in an eXistenZ‐type sitch."
    "Stop it! Last week, you thought we were in an eXistenZ because the drive‐through gave us an extra order of fries. We can't be in an eXistenZ every time you're freaking out."
    "We've gotta be in some fucked up Strange Days Altered States Lawnmower Man Horton Hears a Who thing."
    "Maybe we're in a Tron."
    "Don't egg him on. This isn't a Tron." (Solar Opposites, S01E08)
  • Solar Opposites Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Dave

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