// Los Angeles to San Francisco
I see a sheriff's car entering the roadway and slow down. It moves behind me and flashes its lights.
Sheriff: Do you know how fast you were driving?
Sheriff: No?! 90 in a 65.
But everyone drives 90+ on this stretch of I-5…
Sheriff: I smell weed.
Sheriff: Show me your weed.
Jon: Uhh… There is no weed in this car.
And if there was, it would be gummy and ursine.
Sheriff: Do I need to bring the dog out?
You're driving around with a weed-sni—
Jon: The dog won't find anything.
The sheriff calls his partner over.
Sheriff: I smell weed faintly. Do you smell it?
Jon: Oh, you know what? You may be smelling my air freshener. It's…sage and citrus. I didn't buy it. Someone bought it for me.
Sheriff: Can I see your vehicle registration and insurance?
I hand the sheriff my registration and insurance cards.
Sheriff: These are both expired.
Shit, I didn't switch out the insurance card in my wallet.
Fuck, did I renew my registration?
Guh, how many points is this now?
Sheriff: I'm excusing your lapsed registration because DMVs have been closed. Your court appearance will be in Lamont.
Pfff! I ain't driving out to Kern County to contest a speeding ticket.
What if I received a speeding ticket while driving out to contest a speeding ticket?