Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

22. Rank the Riches (Ziwe, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Maybe she can give me more than you."
    "Go find the bitch. See if the bitch can get you Smokey Robinson's hair grease." (Master of None, S03E02)
  • "You really went full Hammer. Sold the chains, selling the house."
    "I know. Shit."
    "Now you gotta do the gospel album."
    "I do."
    "We got to pray just to make it today."
    "Come on. We gotta do Behind the Music. The retrospective. I gotta find all those friends I gave loans to." (Master of None, S03E03)
  • Master of None Season Grade: C
  • "If not for pity, your closest proximity to a vagina would have been at your birth." (Pose, S03E05)
  • Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Pose, S03E05)
  • "Horny has no borders." (Pose, S03E05)
  • ♫: Prince – "Kiss" (Pose, S03E05)
  • "Bro, I'm 'bout to be a professional Untitled Goose Game player." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S01E01)
  • "Do you really think you're not depressed? Dude, you're drunk at three o'clock."
    "I don't know if New York is for me."
    "That's why I'm pushing therapy. I mean, you can't just keep moving away from your problems."
    "Polanski did."
    "Is this water?"
    "Yeah, I wanted to be dramatic." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S01E01)

(Ziwe, S01E03)

  • "There's this really great word that I just learned. It's only two syllables and it sounds like 'anus.' Ready? Onus." (Ziwe, S01E03)
  • "You think you're so great 'cause you made one mediocre indie about lesbians in Oakland? Let's see what you do next."
    "I'm actually directing a Marvel movie."
    "Okay, how does that even make sense? You know what? Good luck with that."
    "Kevin loves the direction we're going in, so…"
    "That's great." (Hacks, S01E05)
  • Ace Ventura: Pet Detective slot machine (Hacks, S01E05)
  • "If you need anything, anything at all…go to Walmart. They've got everything. The store is incredible." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E05)
  • "I've gotta go Saran wrap some manatee genitals before they spoil." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E05)
  • "GRUMBL loved those silicone-based humanoid body doubles. Marketing already has a ton of applications for these things – celebrity lookalikes, servants, seat fillers for Marlins games." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E05)
  • "The squeak of the mail cart. Oh, it's haunting me! My own telltale cart!" (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "First we acquired GRUMBL to gain trust, then AIM to gain tech, then AIM, the instant messenger."
    "To cyber with hot babes." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "E-excuse me, I have something to say."
    "Is this about the Valpaks? Just throw 'em in the trash!" (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "What about our lockets? Mine with a picture of you, and yours with a picture of— That ain't me. What is that?"
    "It's a picture of M.O.D.O.K.'s locket." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "If he wants to live, Austin has to make like a mid-'70s muscle car and Dodge Dart. Ugh, Gary, why don't you ever say cool stuff like that in front of M.O.D.O.K.?" (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "One hive mind, but each tendril has a distinct personality."
    "I like pretty faces."
    "I like ugly faces."
    "And I'm an ass maaaan."
    "I want to eat your dog plain."
    "I want to eat your dog Baja style."
    "See how different we all are?"
    "Now that I heard his order, change mine to Baja style."
    "Me too. Make it threeee Baja style." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E09)
  • "Huh. What's it about?"
    "It's four teenage friends who attend a Bar Mitz—"
    "It's Night Court!"
    "Right. It's a Bar Mitzvah meets Night Court."
    "No! Just Night Court. Night Court meets Night Court! With maybe a little ALF? No, no. Just Night Court." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E10)
  • "Oh, I haven't seen Lou this miserable since he learned that his outie belly button wasn't actually a back-up wiener."
    "Yeah, that really sent him spiraling last year."
    "What are we gonna do?"
    "What I should have done in the first place – told him we were wrong about back-up wieners." (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E10)
  • Iron [Man] Throne (Marvel's M.O.D.O.K., S01E10)
  • Marvel's M.O.D.O.K. Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva

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