Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

31. No Homo (American Horror Stories, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "I can't wait to fuck in Tahiti." (The White Lotus, S01E03)
  • "My mother…told me I would never be a ballerina, and that was when I was skinny." (The White Lotus, S01E03)
  • "Earl, can you please remind me to export my last podcast session?" (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "I think he just needs to watch true original Black film."
    "Ooh, The Wiz."
    "White writer."
    "What? Uh-uh, Quincy Jones wrote that."
    "No, the music. He wrote the music."
    "The Wiz and Bobby Caldwell? Damn."
    "Quincy Jones was not properly credited by the white establishment for his contribution to that film."
    "Y'all wanna know the indisputable Black film, though?"
    "Meteor Man."
    "Nigga, what?"
    "Judge, if I may. Perhaps the Blackest film of all time. Robert Townsend superhero hood sci-fi that paved the way for Black Panther? Look, arguably, there's no Blade. There's no Kazaam. There's no Bobby and Whitney. There's no Obama. I'm serious! It had James Earl Jones, Cypress Hill. Come on, now. Motherfuckin' Meteor Man. Ain't nobody better."
    "You can say what you want, Earl, but my shit is The Five Heartbeats."
    "You already know I love me some Eddie King!"
    "Why would y'all have him watch that? He's too young to watch historical fiction."
    "Fiction? You tryin' to say they wasn't a real band?"
    "Did OJ's hand really not fit in that glove?"
    "I suggested Cool Runnings. Now, that's Jamaica – sorta."
    "[groans] White writer. White director." (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "What is the Black experience, then? Incense and brass crabs and plastic table covers?" (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "You 2018 light-skinned. You know what I'm sayin'? You like Doja Cat Black." (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "When that strip of fog rolls in and covers everything by the morning. [sighs] Happens every night. It's the most reliable thing about this place. It's loyal." (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "Have you ever really watched Paddington 2?"
    "It's about a bear in a white neighborhood that gets the cops called on him, and then he goes to jail, and then he's a chef! This— I'm Paddington! This is hella Black." (Blindspotting, S01E06)
  • "I could be a nanny. I take care of my kids right after I take care of the white ones." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S01E09)
  • "You'd be working a regular job too if it wasn't for that little-ass amount of lean you be selling, fake-ass Ghost." (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S01E09)
  • "The Forest Whitaker joint?"
    "The nigga from The Butler?" (Flatbush Misdemeanors, S01E09)
  • "Hands are tied, sweetie. I have to turn myself into a turkey and trick the president into giving me a presidential turkey pardon." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Careful, Dwayne. You're only vice president because I need 10% of the white vote." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Just pardon me, dick."
    "Why the hell would I?"
    "Oh, I dunno, 'cause if I move to Canada, they'll be the best country!" (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "I'm sick of hearing how iconic you were! Try having an historical administration after Facebook goes online, you old-timey bitch!" (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Well, I'm racist." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "You better not be here to take my man again. I'm poor! And pregnant! With a poor person!"
    "And I need you. And 10% of your baby. Now, look, I know it's gonna take more than some speech. But what is a speech? Isn't it just a question? And isn't that a question too? Speeches are words. Repeated words. Listed words. Repeated lists of repeated words. None of that matters. You know what does matter? Me. Asking you. 'Will you do what I say?'" (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Whose side are we on?"
    "I don't know, but we've done enough to pay for college." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Heritage destroyed." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "The Berlin Wall has come down."
    "It's called the PlayStation."
    "The winner is…Shakespeare in Love."
    "PlayStation 2."
    "Hurricane Katrina slams Louisiana…"
    "PlayStation 3."
    "This is Maroon 5…"
    "PlayStation 4."
    "The Cubbies win!"
    "I want a PlayStation 5."
    "I wasn't sure when to pull you out. I assumed you were running through your whole life."
    "Yes. And what a life it was." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • "Well, I refuse to pay for this man's health care." (Rick and Morty, S05E06)
  • ♫: Lil Dicky – "Me Too" (Dave, S02E08)
  • Lil Dicky – "Jenkum" (Dave, S02E08)
  • ♫: The Verve Pipe – "Freshmen" (Dave, S02E08)
  • "David, is this a punk?"
    "Mm‐hmm, yep."
    "Am I a punk?"
    "I think you don't understand that phrase, but…" (Dave, S02E08)
  • "My favorite color. It's tan."
    "No, it's not."
    "It is. It's tan."
    "You're the only person in the world whose favorite color is tan."
    "Well, then, I'm very special. Like you are."
    "Well, I agree, you are special, and I'll paint my whole abdomen tan." (Dave, S02E08)

(American Horror Stories, S01E04)

(American Horror Stories, S01E04)

  • "I'm fucking scared."
    "Yeah, so am I."
    "And okay. It was a boner." (American Horror Stories, S01E04)
  • "Mm, rain soup." (Ultra City Smiths, S01E03)
  • "Bad time to go lime, kid. You're getting close to catching a killer. Fight the lime." (Ultra City Smiths, S01E03)
  • "Did you sleep here?"
    "'Perchance to dream here.'" (Ted Lasso, S02E02)
  • "I named him Ted. After Ted Danson."
    "All-time great. You know, from Cheers to Curb to The Good Place. What a career. I mean, he's basically the male version of Julia Louis-Dreyfus."
    "Who's like the female version of Dave Grohl." (Ted Lasso, S02E02)
  • "Old people are so wise. They're like tall Yodas." (Ted Lasso, S02E02)
  • "You know, I've noticed that sometimes having a tough dad is exactly what drives certain fellas to become great at what they do. You know, I hear Bono's father was a real piece of work. But then again, so was Joshua Tree, so you know…" (Ted Lasso, S02E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva

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