Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

33. William Knife‐Man (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Earl's goodbye (Blindspotting, S01E01)
  • VMA rehearsal (Dave, S02E10)
  • Sex scene (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E04)

Stray Observations

  • "Look, obviously, imperialism was bad. Shouldn't kill people, steal their land, and then make them dance. Everybody knows that. But it's humanity. Welcome to history. Welcome to America." (The White Lotus, S01E05)
  • "I don't steal from people, you know?"
    "They stole from you! They stole all of this from you. You know that."
    "But it's different. It's, it's different people."
    "No, they're the same people. They're all the same people. Don't you see they're all the same people? All of these people, at some point, have stolen from someone like you." (The White Lotus, S01E05)
  • "Greg, I told you to get the fuck out."
    "No. I still wanna fuck you." (The White Lotus, S01E05)
  • "Sometimes, just watching them eat every night makes me wanna gouge my eyes out. The Lotus-eaters. 'Hateful is the dark-blue sky, vaulted o'er the dark-blue sea. Death is the end of life. Ah, why should life all labor be?'" (The White Lotus, S01E05)
  • "Today is my Mobo Triton randonneur, so I'll be off the grid for a bit." (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • "Hold up, he had a partner who looked kinda like Krayzie Bone and they had lit a dude on fire that one time?" (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • Helen Hunt flashing (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • "Marriage is about love and responsibility."
    "Are you just reading off the walls right now?" (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • ♫: Too $hort – "Gettin' It" (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • "I was in the garage eating sorbet." (Blindspotting, S01E08)
  • Blindspotting Season Grade: C
  • "Your life isn't real, and I didn't save it." (Rick and Morty, S05E08)
  • "No, Rick, it is you who must nibble my cloaca, or 'bird asshole.'" (Rick and Morty, S05E08)
  • "Disloyalty acknowledged." (Rick and Morty, S05E08)
  • "Anyone follow you?"
    "No. No one's following."
    "Yeah, just like his Insta." (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • ♫: Wu-Tang Clan – "Protect Ya Neck [The Jump Off]" (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • ♫: Broncho – "Class Historian" (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • "What kind of gang wears both red and blue?" (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • ♫: LABRYS – "Deeper" (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • ♫: Samantha Crain – "Joey" (Reservation Dogs, S01E01)
  • ♫: Unidentified "Gone are the days of my youth that I never knew" song (Reservation Dogs, S01E02)
  • "So, a dame and a flying Buick." (What If…?, S01E01)
  • "Who needs a plan? I have a shield." (What If…?, S01E01)

» "I should have been the 'I.'" (Dave, S02E10)

  • "Fuck you, Anthony Jeselnik!" (Dave, S02E10)
  • "You just need to choose the material of the graft. Is it gonna be your skin or a cadaver?"
    "I don't want to use either. Corpse's dick?" (Dave, S02E10)
  • "Dave! Would you please be quiet?"
    Both: "Sorry." (Dave, S02E10)
  • "You ready to sodomize the world with that brand new dick?"
    "Is that ass-fuck?"
    "It's the professional way of saying it, yeah." (Dave, S02E10)
  • Directed by Alma Har'el (Dave, S02E10)
  • Dave Season Grade: C
  • The North Water Season Grade: C
  • "I can't lose you too, because if I do, I'm [sighs] I'm going lime. I'm going deep lime." (Ultra City Smiths, S01E05)
  • "Deputy Mayor Jeff Thumb."
    "Congressman Chris Pecker."
    "Pecker. Thumb."
    "Last names. Burdens. For me and you."
    "Mine's not. Mine's a thumb."
    "Yours is a dick, so I'm not in your club. Thumbs are cool."
    "Dicks are cool. Dicks are very cool."
    "Why are dicks cool?"
    "Why are thumbs cool?"
    "It's the thumb that allows us to pen an essay, turn a nut, pick up a coin, or button a shirt. Can you pick up a coin with your dick? Give it a shot."
    "I'm not stupid, Thumb. I know I can't pick up a coin with my penis. But there is one thing on your little list there that I could totally do, with it. If I had old-fashioned ink." (Ultra City Smiths, S01E05)
  • "Does everybody have their river guns?"
    "No. I left mine at Starbucks." (Ultra City Smiths, S01E05)
  • "He went full Schumer." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "She's probably too busy to see friends."
    "And yet I have time to see my friends and be a father and do my job and straight-up crush it at Goat Simulator on my Switch." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "Hey, my client's in the conference room, but before we go in there, it wasn't easy getting her to agree to talk with a cop, so don't be too cop-ish. Just be normal."
    "Got it, normal, not too cop-ish. Won't be a problem."
    Mrs. Doubtfire "Helloooo!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "Yeah, got a low-drop fade with a crisp lining. I'm all about supporting Black businesses." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "It's clearly bogus, but an officer did break one of his fingers. Probably from tackling her to the ground."
    "Yeah, or from pointing it so hard at everyone but himself."
    "Who are you performing this for, Jake?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "You live with your mom?"
    "My ma lives with me…in her house." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "I have successfully hidden it for months – not very well, I might add. I made small talk with Peralta on five separate occasions, and he never even batted an eye. He just blathered on about someone named…Wario." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E01)
  • "Nobody's on board with my scheme? Is it because I called it a scheme? I can say something different. Nobody's on board with my stratagem?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "This is surprising. You're usually a lot more petulant when we don't go along with your schemes."
    "Stratagems." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Uh, you do know there's no phone reception at the lake house."
    "No! How am I gonna catch Pokémon?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Let's just say you're definitely gonna want my nip tips. Tips that nip a problem in the bud."
    "Why don't you just say 'tips'?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Sir, you have something on your pants."
    "Huh, I've sat in some sap, like a sap."
    "At least you have a sense of humor about it."
    "Not intentionally. I was upset and stumbled into accidental wordplay." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "I'll have a snack of some water." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Scully, don't throw chips at my baby!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "There's no reception. I'll just run back. I haven't done cardio in 20 years. How hard can it be? It's immediately awful!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Das Doppelte Lottchen!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "I knew my stratagem had classy origins." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "I finally spot a corn crake, and my eyes are swollen shut."
    "It's okay, Kevin. I'll describe it to you. Okay, have you ever seen a duck?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Those are some hot Pantones." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Okay, whoa, whoa. Pump the brakes there, Sonic."
    "Sonic the Hedgehog. You've been hogging that hedge while I was out on a ledge. No, you didn't have to deal with anyone saying it was a bad idea, so you don't get the credit either. This was 100% all me, Dr. Robotnik."
    "Sonic's archnemesis!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "I'm a trash man who only knows trash birds." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S08E02)
  • "Listen, Phoebe, problems, they're like mushrooms, yeah? The longer you leave them in the dark, the bigger they get." (Ted Lasso, S02E04)
  • "Why did you bring a date to the team Christmas party?"
    "The French believe that having a beautiful woman around is always a good thing."
    "That was not true with the Helter Skelter murders." (Ted Lasso, S02E04)
  • "Am I getting notes of Beijing?" (Ted Lasso, S02E04)
  • "You're willing to miss a puppet show by Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz? 'Cause that sounds like a lot of fun."
    "Don't get me wrong, they are incredible. But all I really want to see those two do together is fuck." (Ted Lasso, S02E04)
  • ♫: Folk Implosion – "Natural One" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E01)
  • "'The killer was not like a jellyfish.'" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E01)
  • "This bitch just puked a cat!" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E02)
  • "Oh, God! It bit your dick?"
    "No, no, no. The bite causes a very painful erection."
    "Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's right."
    "Yeah, very dangerous."
    "God, is it an allergic reaction or…?"
    "I'll get some ice."
    "Some… For his dick?" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E04)
  • "Why is Lou Burke's son eating dog food?" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E05)
  • ♫: Primus – "Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E06)
  • "Did you eat this man?" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E06)
  • ♫: Concrete Blonde – "Tomorrow, Wendy" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E06)
  • "If you're gonna throw up, please let me know so I can turn away. It's different if it's a kitten. Okay, so whose door can we knock on for some spontaneous sex magic?" (Brand New Cherry Flavor, S01E07)
  • Brand New Cherry Flavor Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva

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